As If Pop Music Weren’t Already a Ploy to Pacify the Masses, Here Are Some Lullaby Versions of Rihanna Songs

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Photo: Christopher Polk

Do you have a baby? Maybe it’s been a long week at “Work” and you just want to treat yourself like you are one. In either case, thanks to the good people of Rockabye Baby!, you can now “Love the Way You Lie” swaddled in a blanket of soothing sound. Lullaby Renditions of Rihanna is an album that precisely enacts its promise, delivering acoustic versions of Rihanna tracks that are heavy on the xylophone. You’re probably thinking, “We Found Love,” and, look, obviously it’s a great conceit for people who “Don’t Stop the Music.” But some of the translations don’t even make sense for babies. “Take a Bow”? How’s a baby going to do that? A baby does not have the muscular dexterity to support its itty-bitty upper body and, frankly, it is probably dangerous to have them performing those kind of overly formal social rituals so young anyway. Come on, Rihanna. “Stay” is probably a better target.