Ted Cruz, a Man Who Attacks Women, Says, ‘Real Men Don’t Attack Women’

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Fake man Ted Cruz
Fake man Ted CruzPhoto: Andrew Harrer

While caught up in a Twitter squabble about the hotness and sluttiness of their respective wives, alleged Zodiac Killer Ted Cruz zinged world’s tallest Oompa Loompa Donald Trump. His tweet alleged that despite being a living embodiment of the patriarchy, Trump is not in fact a real man:

Unfortunately for Cruz, his logic backfires. Because if real men do not attack women, Cruz is fake as hell. In fact, he might be faker than Trump.

For example, even though both “men” want to defund Planned Parenthood, at least Trump admits that the organization helps women. Cruz, on the other hand, continues to propagate proven lies, like “Planned Parenthood is … selling the body parts of the babies it has aborted,” and the Planned Parenthood shooter is a “transgendered leftist activist.”

The Candy Crush–loving presidential candidate is also infamous for his jokes about women. Like when he said that in order to detect adultery, God should have given “women a hymen that grows back every time she has intercourse with a different guy, because that will be a ‘visible sign’ of the breach of trust.” He also mansplained the Second Amendment to Dianne Feinstein, prompting an all-time great clapback on the Senate floor.

When it comes to his own rubric for judging the realness of men, looks like Cruz is the fakest of the fake.