Artist Tracey Emin, Inspirational Woman, Marries a Rock

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Aw! They're adorable!
Aw! They're adorable!Photo: Getty Images

It’s well known that marriage is an institution created to keep women down and uphold the patriarchy; but at the same time, we can’t help but crave lifelong companionship. Because society. Luckily, artist Tracey Emin has found a way around this conundrum: She married a rock.

What attracted her to such a mate? In one interview Emin said, “Somewhere on a hill facing the sea, there is a very beautiful ancient stone, and it’s not going anywhere. It will be there, waiting for me.”

That is one of the many benefits of marrying a rock: It/he/she will not leave you.

Other benefits? He’s solid. He’s stable. He contains multitudes: good for sitting on, always holds the door for you. He’s not argumentative or threatened by your career. He’s totally fine with you having friendships with other men. While he would never even look at another woman, he’s okay with you straying every once in a while. After all, it is modern love.

Sign me up.