Darling, Have You Seen My Missing $1 Million Picasso Painting?

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Photo: RALPH GATTI

Yes, hello, it’s Wilma, Wilma Tisch. So sorry to bother you, but have you seen my missing Picasso painting?

It’s the one he painted of his mistress, Marie-Thérèse Walter, back in 1928. Worth about $1 million, I think. It might be in storage or getting repaired, I’m always misplacing these things, you know how it is. Last week it was a $75 million Rothko, this week it’s this. Although, I suppose I haven’t seen it in a few years now. Funny how these things get away from you.

Oh hold on — hold on, it’s my lawyer, Luke, on the other line.

[Muffled voices.] Oh, I see. Okay, I see.

Seems as if a housekeeper lifted it off me and sold it to a Miami art investor. He went ahead and sold it to another art dealer.

Oh, how dreadful. How very dreadful.