Pioneers of Conscious Uncoupling Now Free to Unconsciously Recouple

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Photo: Charley Gallay

After two years, two months, and one day, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have reached a divorce settlement, unveiling the final puzzle piece in the great enigma that is the Conscious Uncoupling process.

So, the bad news for couples looking to follow in their footsteps: This may take a while.

The good news: You will still be able to brunch together, enjoy a weekend in the Hamptons, protect one another from stalkers, make beautiful music, and secretly communicate via monogrammed underwear.