Your Guide to Gratuitous Male Objectification at the Olympics

By
From left: Rhys Howden, Hansle Parchment, Matheus Santana, Cameron McEvoy, Evan JagerPhoto: Getty Images

Every four years, the Olympics give you the opportunity to watch thousands of the finest athletes in the world compete against each other, all executing remarkable feats of human strength and agility in the name of nationalism. More important, whether or not you actually care about the sports taking place, they’re 17 full days you can dedicate to ogling extremely fit and hot people.

During the 2012 London games, hunky golden retriever Ryan Lochte emerged from the masses as the premiere object of lust. He’ll be returning in 2016 (Jeah!!!), but there’s no need to limit yourself to Lochte fever when there’s also a bevy of six-packed men from around the world to watch for.

Come, join us on the official horndog tour of Rio.