Why Did Chris Pine Make His Face Like This

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Chris Pine.
Chris Pine.Photo: Araya Diaz

Chris Pine, one of the many hot Chrises bestowed upon us by a benevolent but unimaginative God, showed up to the premiere of his new Star Trek movie last night. Looking like this!

Chris Pine didn’t used to look like this. He used to have a beard that resembled the beards of the other Chrises (normal). Now he has a confusing circle of beard. A mustache that never ends. An ashtray for his face.

Why?