Father John Misty Is Now Selling Moon Juice Crystal Earrings

By
Photo: fatherjohnmisty.merchline.com

When Amanda Chantal Bacon’s rose-quartz crystal went missing from her Moon Juice shop’s Silverlake location back in July, Father John Misty — otherwise known as that guy Josh from your MFA seminar who laughs at all his own jokes — “took responsibility” in a trolly Instagram post.

Since then, Bacon hasn’t responded outright to Misty — unless you count her extensive Instagram crystal bragging and her burning this maybe-voodoo doll of him. Misty, for his own part, posted a now-deleted Instagram of a large rose quartz crystal sculpture with a sign reading “Thank u Father John 4 Freeing Me.”

But this petty feud roils on (thank Gaia): As Misty unveiled in his new merch line on Tuesday, he’s selling rose-quartz earrings with the tag line “you do want the energy of a stolen crystal,” a nod to Bacon’s original threat of “to whomever took her out the door, you do not want the energy of a stolen crystal, please trust me!” (Other items in his shop include Kanye West ripoff gear emblazoned with “Life of Padre.”) The earrings retail for $45.00, which is the equivalent of five Moon Juice juices or .69 containers of this woo-woo Beauty Dust.

In the meantime, one can only hope that President Obama will step in and mediate this conflict during a sweat-lodge peace summit. I’ll bring the Ayahuasca!