Gisele Bündchen Wins Gold in the Long-Distance Catwalk

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On the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah.
On the catwalk, on the catwalk, yeah.Photo: Ezra Shaw

Sure, the Olympics celebrate all of our common humanity, but mostly they’re about people who are better than you at things: running, swimming, or, in the case of Gisele Bündchen, being stunning for extended periods of time. Gisele appeared midway through the opening ceremony of the Rio Olympics to strut down a 500-foot runway to the tune of “The Girl From Ipanema,” as performed by Daniel Jobim, grandson of the song’s writer, Tom Jobim.

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To be fair, Gisele is good at walking. Like, too good at walking. Someone should pay her to walk places. Maybe in nice clothes. Could be a good idea for a career?

Later, Gisele danced in the crowd. That was it. That was Gisele’s job at the Olympics: walking, and then having fun at a party. We think she deserves a gold medal in being Gisele.

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Tom Brady, according to People, is at home in Boston, training with the Patriots. Sorry to disappoint those hoping to see him in the crowd (looking at you, Ben Affleck).