Colin Powell Is Your Bitchiest Friend

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Photo: Scott J. Ferrell/Congressional Quarterly/Getty Images

A hacker leaked former secretary of State Colin Powell’s personal emails on Tuesday, and though you might assume they’d be boring missives about foreign policy, you’d be dead wrong. In fact, Powell is apparently quite similar to your bitchiest friend, talking shit, employing creative insults, and spreading unfounded gossip like his middle name is Petty. Some of the highlights:

On Dick Cheney:

“[The Cheneys] are idiots and spent force peddling a book that ain’t going nowhere.”

On Hillary Clinton:

“Everything HRC touches she kind of screws up with hubris.”

On Donald Trump:

“Trump just looks stupid trying to appeal to blacks and Latinos.”

“One day when we both have had too many drinks we can discuss why [President George W. Bush] tolerated [Donald Rumsfeld] and why Dick [Cheney], a successful SecDef, was so committed to Don. I must say I gagged as [President George H.W. Bush] praised him as the ‘best’ at the statuary hall unveiling.”

“If Donald were to somehow win, by the end of the first week in office he’d be saying ‘What the hell did I get myself into?’”

“[Trump] is destroying himself, no need for the Dems to attack him.”

When BuzzFeed News reached out to Powell for comment, he said simply, “Okay, bye bye.”

See? Bitchy!