What yogurt ads are to women, Viagra ads are to the heteronormative man — with every commercial, they aim to appeal to a caricature of that gender dreamt up by advertising executives. This makes slightly more sense than Yoplait’s strategy — after all, people of every gender can enjoy a nice fermented dairy product, while only some need to pop erectile-dysfunction pills.
The vast majority of Viagra ads feature a polished woman in her 40s with long, straight hair gazing seductively at the camera and saying things like “Hey, you, let’s fix your penis” in dulcet tones. The star — who enjoys a crisp Sauvignon Blanc and prides herself on having never set foot in a Chico’s — is always lounging in bed, and at one point in the commercial, you can count on her to get into the pose.
You know the pose: Her stomach’s on the mattress, she’s resting on her elbows, and her feet might be kicked up in the air. It’s the “We need to talk about your boner” pose.
She could be in her bedroom after a hard day’s work.
She might be on a fun, flirty tropical vacation, ready to do it after you’ve both had two (2) mai tais, because, hey, you’re on vacation!
She can even be found posing with a football and wondering how she got herself into this mess, while you’re in the other room too busy stuffing your face with buffalo wings and watching the game to fuck. She’s still doing the pose!
Even Ellen DeGeneres knows about the pose.
To this I say: The Cialis bathtubs look way more comfortable.
And, as always, ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for you to have sex.
