Woman Accidentally Steals Identical Subaru in the Most Portland Crime Ever

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Photo: Heritage Images/Getty Images

I don’t have a car, but I’ve always fantasized about owning a Subaru. They’re practical, a marker of the crunchy outdoorsy lifestyle I hope to someday pursue, and it’s rare that I make it through one of their commercials without outwardly weeping. Plus, Subaru drivers always seem so dang laid-back and friendly — a perception backed up by a recent accidental Subaru car theft.

On Tuesday in Portland, Oregon (where else?), Erin Hatzi realized that her red Subaru was missing from her driveway. Panicked, she and her husband watched their home’s security footage only to see a woman leisurely texting before getting in her car and driving off.

The next day — after Hatzi had called the police and reported the theft — she found the car in her driveway along with a note and $30 for gas money. It read: “Hello, So sorry I stole your car. I sent my friend with my key to pick up my red subaru at 7802 SE Woodstock and she came back with your car. I did not see the car until this morning and I said, ‘that is not my car.’ There is some cash for gas and I more than apologize for the shock and upset this must have caused you.”

Coincidentally, the police were driving by and scanning plates around the same time that the car was returned; when they questioned the woman returning the car, they found that on older Subaru models, some keys are interchangeable.

Hope Carrie and Fred are taking notes.