One Enchanted Evening
Alberto G. Rojas & Brent Lammers
Ritz-Carlton New York, Battery Park, November 18, 2005|
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The meeting: We met at a gay-volleyball-league party about a year before we started dating. Although we continued to see each other at games and social events and eventually developed a friendship, it took us a while to make the first move.
The ceremony: We had the perfect fall sunset for the ceremony. As the harpist played "At Last," by Etta James, our parents escorted us down the aisle and we met at the altar.
The ceremony was based on a traditional Lutheran wedding service, with suggestions made by our pastor to better reflect
our commitment. He helped
us choose Bible verses and kept the wording inclusive, yet it wasn't gender-neutral-it was about Brent and me. My youngest brother, Fernando, and Brent's friend Valerie both served as honored witnesses, and three of our siblings each read verses from the Bible. Brent had already told everyone that he'd cry
during the ceremony, so we were waiting for it. However, once
the ceremony started, Brent
was giggling and I felt like I was ready to cry. Nevertheless,
we both made it through the ceremony without any emotional breakdowns. For the recessional, we asked the harpist to play "Forever and for Always," by Shania Twain, because that was the song for our first dance.
The jazz duo played it during
our entrance to the cocktail reception as well to add a
theme throughout. It was subtle, and we enjoyed the touch.
The décor: We had a cocktail reception immediately after the ceremony at the Skyline Vista, which has floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking Manhattan. We both have a very strong
sense of family and heritage-my family is Peruvian, Brent's is
from Arkansas-and we took
the dinner reception as an opportunity to celebrate what makes us unique as a couple. Thanks to our floral designer, the reception was colorful and rich and carried many personal touches. Each table had authentic Peruvian blankets as runners in various colors, ranging from brown and blue to red, orange, and hot pink. The arrangements were exquisite and combined both our Peruvian and Arkansan heritages. They were filled
mainly with fruits and vegetables
such as pears, papayas, and avocados adorned with sheaths of rice (Arkansas is the rice capital of the U.S.) and flowers, all pouring out of antique terra-cotta bowls. It was everything we'd hoped for and more. We also decided to include our love for eighties music by naming each of our tables after bands from that decade, such as Wham!, Beastie Boys, and Menudo; the music played during the reception was also from that decade.
The surprise: We had the blessing of having one of our friends go into labor during the last hour of the reception. She wasn't due until the following week, but so much dancing to Madonna made the baby want to boogie on down-literally. She was driven
to the hospital by her husband and a couple of friends, and
little Joie was born at 10:30 the next morning.
The advice: Although it's very hard to do, as everyone (family, friends, and vendors) has a different opinion about what your wedding should be, stay true to what you both want-through
the entire process. Remember, it's your wedding: Order what
you want, wear what you want,
and dance to what you want.
The day of: We stayed at the
Ritz-Carlton for the entire weekend in a beautiful suite, which gave us time to ourselves. On the day of the wedding, Alberto and I hung out in the financial district and South Street Seaport before going back to the room to get dressed together. We're each other's best friend, and wanted to be together during the entire day. One of the great things about being a gay couple in this situation is that you're given the opportunity to rethink many traditions and make some of your own as well. For example, we invited everyone out on the dance floor with us for the first dance. We also didn't have bride and groom sides during the ceremony. Instead, people sat wherever
they wanted. The focus of the
day wasn't on our being gay but on our relationship, our family, our friends, and how we're all a new family.
From the Winter 2006 New York Wedding Guide