1. Beat the Beer Gut
Gyms are a snore. The hour-long Warrior Fitness Boot Camp (29 W. 35th St., nr. Sixth Ave., third fl.;212-967-7977) is modeled after Marine training, so you’ll burn blubber in a variety of ways: sit-ups,push-ups, jumping jacks, jumping rope, rope climbing, free weights, running, and even tire hopping (thefacility houses a twelve-station obstacle course). Hesitant grooms can try out three sessions for $60,but co-founders and former Marines Alex Fell and RubenBelliard recommend three straight months, with three to four sessions per week, for hard-core results.
2. Eliminate Acne
The acne-reduction treatment at Nickel Spa for Men (77 Eighth Ave., at 14th St.; 212-242-3203)involves the Galaxy machine, which uses a spectrum of light and radio frequencies to kill pore-clogging bacteria on your face, chest, and back. The $130 sessionlasts 45 minutes, during which spagoers can expect a hot pinching sensation. (Word to the pain-intolerant:Nickel suggests a minimum of five sessions, spacedout every three to four weeks.) For age spots, spider veins, or rosacea, there’s also a rejuvenationtreatment with the Galaxy machine ($220 a session; buy five sessions and the sixth is free).
3. Prettify Your Mug
Of all spa treatments, the cucumber-eyed ladies-who-lunch facial may be the biggest threat to a dude-bro’s masculinity. Enter the ultra-baller 24-karat–gold mask facial at Dyanna Body & Nail Salon Spa (40 E. 21st St., nr. Park Ave.;212-995-2355). The tightening-and-brightening treatment takes one hour and starts with an exfoliatingcleanse and steam massage, followed by gentle fingertip extraction and, finally, the heavy metal:For $85, you get a 24-karat-gold pigment powder mask; for $100, a gold-dipped foil facial chased by the aforementioned powder treatment, and the confidenceof Kanye.
4. Lose the Unibrow
Waxing hurts like a mother, but your future Mrs. or Mr. will appreciate the tidy-up. At Chelsea’s Wellness Men’s Day Spa (44 W. 22nd St., nr. Sixth Ave.; 212-366-9080), $22 buys you a pair of perfectly articulated arches, sans the friendship bridge. Ear- and nose-waxing sessions are $22 apiece; to depilate larger swaths—that tuft curling up past your shirt collar, perhaps?—try sugaring, a treatment that doesn’t yank skin as much as traditional waxing doesbecause it’s applied at room temperature. Chest sugarings are priced at $48, backs at $60, andbutts at $75.
5. Revitalize Your Mane
When an NFL coach wins a game that secures his place in the Super Bowl, he gets a Gatorade shower.Your big event deserves one better: A signature beer rinse ($35) at Erica Fleischman, A Men’s Salon (142 E. 49th St., nr. Lexington Ave.; 212-750-5666), in which an actual brewski (typically Guinness fordark hair and Corona for light) is cracked open and dumped on your head. Proteins from the hops andmalt make hair shiny, soft, and voluminous, while a finalshampooing ensures you won’t leave the place smelling like a drunkard. Treatments also come with a ten-minute scalp massage and a hot towel to the face, plus abeer or scotch to pass the time.
6. Get a Day-of Touch-Up
A bride’s day-of prep goes on for hours: In the time it takes her to put on the dress—45 minutes, give ortake—you and your man-crew can cram in the whirlwind Refresher package ($75) at Truman’s Gentlemen’s Groomers (120 E. 56th St., nr. Park Ave.; 212-759-5015). The combo includes a straight-edgeshave, hair wash and styling, scalp massage, manicure, and shoe shine. (Don’t worry, most fussing takesplace behind a privacy screen.) And if your hand and mouth are ever free at the same time, there’s abonus: Beer, wine, and the hard stuff are on the house.