From the June 28, 1976 issue of New York Magazine.

I like to keep up with the new aberrations
And here’s what I recently read:
The latest in lust is the swapping of spouses.
The old-fashioned marriage, it’s said,
Is just for the frigid, repressed, and neurotic.
Which no modern wife wants to be.
But nobody asks can he swap with my husband.

Is something the matter with me?

It’s claimed that the switching of partners produces
A soundness of body and mind
And feelings of intimate group satisfaction
That couples can’t manage to find
In cook-outs and bridge clubs and zoning board meetings
And fund drives to build the school gym.
But nobody asks will I swap her my husband.

Is something the matter with him?

Abandoned, insatiable, pulsing with hunger.
It all seems a terrible strain.
Now why did they have to go make things so fancy
When I’ve been enjoying them plain?
Erotica hasn’t appeared at our parties.
We’re still talking kids and clogged pipes.
And nobody asks can we swap with each other.

I guess we don’t look like the types.

“Swapping”—copyright ©1976 by Judith Viorst.
Reprinted by permission of Lescher & Lescher, Ltd.
All rights reserved