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Brett Smiley

  1. white men with money
    DCCC Apologizes to AdelsonApology accepted.
  2. modern love
    Brooklyn Romantic Risks Spinal Injury to Propose Marriage on BillboardHe wanted to show her he was serious.
  3. disturbing things with happy endings
    ‘Tan Mom’ Stops Tanning, Loses That Leathery GlowSuccess!
  4. it’s science
    Giant Sinkhole Opens Up in Brooklyn, Nearly Eats Car [Updated]Nom nom nom.
  5. random acts of violence
    Hammer-Wielding Man in Suit Attacks Spanish Tourist at City Hall ParkThe victim is in stable condition.
  6. crimes and misdemeanors
    Pair Behind 9/11 Charity May Be Crooks, Not Former Navy SEALsBoth men have criminal records.
  7. body art
    NY Law Requires Consent for Minors Body PiercingThat’s anything but an ear piercing.
  8. in-flight entertainment
    Queens Man Allegedly Orders Another Man’s Package on JetBlue FlightIt’s one thing to hog an armrest …
  9. cable news news
    CNN Plays Pink’s ‘Stupid Girl’ for Palin Segment“We regret any perception that they were planned together.”
  10. domain awareness system
    NYPD to Launch ‘All-Seeing’ ‘Domain Awareness System’Made in partnership with Microsoft.
  11. tv
    Chris Rock to Produce Sketch Comedy Pilot D-Raw for Comedy CentralStarring the Rap Battle parody guy.
  12. usa swim team
    USA Olympic Swim Team Performs Fittest Version of ‘Call Me Maybe’ EverEven Michael Phelps participated.
  13. how rude
    Sony Nabs Social Networking Comedy De-FriendedFacebook etiquette, dissected.
  14. stand clear of the closing doors
    MTA Proposes $1 ‘Green Fee’ on Each New MetroCard PurchaseThe agency says it will generate $20 million in revenue annually.
  15. weddings!
    Dan Aykroyd Officiates Chevy Chase’s Daughter’s WeddingAnd he cracked up the entire bridal party, obviously.
  16. aurora shooting
    Colorado Hospitals to Pick Up Some Medical Bills for Aurora Shooting VictimsStill, some will require prolonged treatment.
  17. laser beams
    Fourteen-Year-Old Long Island Boy Caught Pointing Laser at Police Chopper Police are investigating a connection between this and the Jet Blue incident.
  18. don’t do that
    Accused Former Assemblyman Calls Government Witness Immediately After ReleaseThe judge is not pleased.
  19. terrible things
    Harlem Suitcase Murderer Gets Twenty-Year SentenceHe apologized to the woman’s family in court.
  20. dog day afternoons
    Williamsburg Burglar Hits Up Same Bank on Consecutive AfternoonsThere’s a pattern here.
  21. fruit baskets containing large quantities of money
    Former Queens Assemblyman Busted for Accepting $80,000 Fruit BasketWhen is a fruit basket not a fruit basket?
  22. stuck in the mittle
    Romney Advisers Discuss ‘Anglo-Saxon Heritage’“The White House didn’t fully appreciate the shared history we have.”
  23. stand clear of the closing doors
    Somehow, Man on Subway Platform Hit by Uptown 6 TrainSeriously, stand clear of the closing doors.
  24. crimes and misdemeanors
    That Pneumatic Drill You Just Bought Might Belong to the MTAThe MTA can’t catch a break.
  25. armed and dangerous
    Heavily Armed Potential Aurora Shooting Copycat Arrested in MainePolice found an arsenal in the man’s car and apartment.
  26. bachmann ambition overdrive
    Muslim Brotherhood Also Thinks Bachmann’s McCarthyist Accusation Is Crazy“The Muslim Brotherhood can’t even penetrate the Egyptian government.”
  27. you’re over the line
    Delinquent Manhattan Cyclists Sentenced to Humiliating Remedial Biking Class“This whole thing is nuts.”
  28. animal cruelty
    Father and Son Kill Cat With Stick, Throw It in TrashWhy?
  29. sad things
    Four-Year-Old Boy Shot and Killed at Bronx Basketball Court Two others were wounded.
  30. sad things
    Pennsylvanians Busted for Hoarding Over 200 ChihuahuasSome were sick, some deceased.
  31. kaaaahhhnnn!
    DSK Lawyer: ‘Impermissibly Vague’ Gender ClaimHis attorney writes that it’s “a subjective and imprecise inquiry.”
  32. party favors
    GSA Spent $20,000 on Giveaway Drumsticks at Awards CeremonyThe entire event cost one quarter million.
  33. cold case
    NYPD Makes Breakthrough in New Year’s Day 1987 Murder With DNA EvidencePolice used a tissue sample under the teenager’s fingernail to make a match.
  34. what just happened
    Newt Gingrich and Snooki Become BFFs on the Tonight ShowLook out for Gingrich on ‘Snooki and JWOWW’.
  35. crimes and misdemeanors
    Zimmerman on Hannity: No Regrets [Updated]“He said, ‘You’re going to die tonight.’”
  36. medicinal marijuana
    First Crop of Legal Marijuana Growing in JerseyWhat hath you brought from this bountiful garden?
  37. crimes and misdemeanors
    Suspect in Custody in Upper East Side StabbingIt happened in broad daylight.
  38. dear leader
    King Jong-un Gets That Big Promotion He’s Been Waiting ForYou’ll never guess.
  39. bain of his existence
    Limbaugh: Obama Team Behind ‘Bane’ in Batman“The movie has been in the works for a long time.”
  40. fake cops
    Cop Imposter Is Stealing Cell Phones From Teens in the BronxTime to call real cops.
  41. heroes
    MTA Driver Catches Young Girl in Fall From Third-Story WindowThree cheers.
  42. presidential displays of affection
    Michelle Obama Rejects Barack’s Smooch Attempt on Kiss Cam, Crowd Boos [Updated]Poor Barack.
  43. youtube
    Pew Study Finds YouTube Emerging As Major News PlatformMeet Tom and Ben.
  44. dear leader
    Top North Korean Official Dismissed Because of ‘Illness’Suspicious.
  45. politics
    Sheldon Adelson Arms Young Guns With $5 MillionGuns activated.
  46. education
    Judge May Award $40,000 to Bullied Girl’s FamilyStudents pushed and tripped the girl “for fun.”
  47. new york city
    Survey: New Yorkers Plowing Money Into Big Home-Improvement JobsMore than one-third decided to gut their place.
  48. the worst form of travel
    False Alarm in Bomb Scare on Flight From JFK to SpainThere’s no reason to become alarmed.
  49. puppies!!!!!!
    Canine New Yorkers Marry in Most Expensive Pet Wedding EverOfficiated by Triumph the Insult Comic Dog.
  50. crimes and misdemeanors
    FBI Sources Say George Zimmerman Isn’t RacistThe lead investigator described Zimmerman as having a “little hero complex.”
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