Dan Amira

  1. the sports section
    The Only Reason to Watch the Two Remaining Giants GamesTo see if Eli can make interception history. 
  2. the most important people in the world
    Derek Jeter Doesn’t Let Anyone Bring Phones Into His Tampa MansionHe has a phone basket in his foyer. 
  3. Bush-Appointed Judge Rules That NSA Metadata Program Is the WorstMeaning, unconstitutional and useless. 
  4. idiots
    A Lot of New Yorkers Are Winning the Lottery and Not Claiming Their MillionsThis is a really bad way to play the lotto. 
  5. Fake Sign Language Guy Burned Two Men to Death As Part of a ‘Community Thing’He was not prosecuted.
  6. early and awkward
    Steve Stockman Really Pumped About New Poll Showing Him Down by 44 PointsHe’s a glass-half-full type.
  7. photo op
    Bill de Blasio Visits the White HouseHere is a photo. 
  8. terrorble
    Man Thought He Was Going to Blow Up Kansas Airport TodayUnfortunately for him, his accomplices were in the FBI. 
  9. neighborhood news
    Brooklyn About to Get Even More Brooklyn-yWelcome to the Morbid Anatomy Museum. 
  10. the sports section
    James Dolan Made a Forward-Thinking Decision YesterdayWhoa, what?
  11. end times
    It Snowed in Cairo for the First Time in Over 100 YearsIs this a bad omen?
  12. life imitating homeland
    So-Called Private Citizen Missing in Iran Was Working for Rogue CIA AnalystsLife imitates Homeland. 
  13. health carnage
    White House: Give Your Mom ‘Piece of Mind’ by Getting Health InsurancePieceofmindgate. 
  14. talking about the weather
    It’s Going to Snow Again This WeekendWe’re looking at three to five inches. 
  15. stand clear of the closing doors
    The MTA Is Finally Looking Into How to Stop Hitting People With TrainsRadios, laser beams, cameras, and heat sensors will be tested. 
  16. Fake-Sign-Language Guy: I Was Hallucinating“I was in a very difficult position.”
  17. Brooklyn Burglar Twerks for an Hour Outside Apartment FirstAnd it’s all on surveillance video. 
  18. the post-racial world
    The FDNY Mailed a Bill to ‘Unknown Asian’ How did this happen?
  19. ink-stained wretches
    Media Trying Really Hard to Make First Lady Funeral Jealousy HappenThis is weak. 
  20. Senator’s Chief of Staff Being Investigated for Child Porn“Stunned, surprised and disappointed.”
  21. photo op
    George W. Bush Showed Off His Paintings to Hillary Clinton on Air Force OneAnd this is what that moment looked like. 
  22. south africa
    Man Does Fake Sign Language at Mandela MemorialDeaf people notice these things. 
  23. Steve Stockman Embarks on Senate Campaign With Fusillade of Hysterical Gibberish“I’m not asking you to take a bullet or face actual bayonets.”
  24. the sports section
    Jason Kidd Is the Coach of This [13-Letter Expletive] Team!“Sit the (expletive) down!”
  25. things that aren't normally sexy
    Someone Finally Made a Sexy-Cab-Driver CalendarAnd here are the photos. 
  26. international intrigue
    Obama and Castro Shake Hands at Mandela Memorial, End of Cold War in SightWatch it. 
  27. festivus
    Festivus Poles Forced Upon State Capitols in Florida, WisconsinThe fake “Seinfeld” holiday makes headway in state capitols. 
  28. america's sweetheart
    Sarah Palin Has a New TV ShowIt’s for Real Americans only. 
  29. talking about the weather
    Your Morning Commute Is Going to Suck TomorrowNew York City is expecting to receive up to four inches of snow. 
  30. this is why we can't have nice things
    2013 Was a Big Year for Naming Your Baby ‘Cheese’What about Milk? Table is a good name, too. 
  31. the sports section
    Knicks Lose to the Celtics by Literally 3,000 PointsIt was one of their worst losses ever. 
  32. stand clear of the closing doors
    Man’s Desperate Attempt to Prevent Subway Doors From Closing Ends in TragedyHis bag went on without him. 
  33. paulitics
    Rand Paul’s Family Voting System Is Unnecessarily ComplexWife has two votes, everyone else has zero. 
  34. the sports section
    Curtis Granderson Switches BoroughsThe Mets will sign the former Yankees player to a $60 million deal. 
  35. scary things
    Elderly Driver Plows Into Long Island Trader Joe’sThe car ended up entirely inside the store. Fifteen people were hurt. 
  36. Charles Barkley Riding the Subway to Brooklyn, AnnotatedThis looked like a fun subway ride. 
  37. things that happened a while ago
    The Time Nelson Mandela Visited Bed-StuyThe school is being renamed in Mandela’s honor. 
  38. Detroit Newscast Uses Photo of Alex Rodriguez for Nelson MandelaAnd yes, it looked ridiculous. 
  39. the sports section
    The Knicks Destroyed the Nets Last Night, and Things Got HeatedScuffles! Ejections! Alleged Italian-speaking!
  40. the sports section
    Knicks vs. Nets: Who Is the Bigger Disaster?This is a close one. 
  41. investigations
    Whose Enormous Chicken Boner Did Bill Clinton Draw?Bob Dole’s? Or his own?
  42. Posters for Rochelle Rochelle Spotted on UESThey’ll be talking about this one from Milan to Minsk. 
  43. imagined conversations
    Republican Congressman Acknowledges That Obamacare Is … Helping Some PeopleHow that went down at GOP headquarters. 
  44. international intrigue
    Mexican Gunmen Who Stole Truck Will ‘Without a Doubt’ Die From Radiation A fateful twist to the Mexican stolen-truck story. 
  45. stand clear of the closing doors
    North Korea’s Subway Is Better Than New York City’s in One WayIt’s nice to have something to do on the platform. 
  46. 2016
    Elizabeth Warren Says Meaningless Thing About 2016“I’m not running for president and I plan to serve out my term.”
  47. the war on christmas
    Atheist Billboard Will Make Palin’s Head ExplodeThe “true” meaning of Christmas is … Chinese food?
  48. the racie for gracie
    Ted Cruz Beats Derek Jeter in New York City Mayoral ElectionChristine Quinn won!
  49. bad things
    Truck Containing Radioactive ‘Dirty Bomb’ Material Stolen in Mexico [Updated]No es bueno. 
  50. Is This the World’s Worst Selfie?A selfie in front of a guy trying to kill himself on the Brooklyn Bridge. 
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