Tape This to Your Fridge

Illustrations by Kagan McLeod

THE PROBLEM
The party’s started, the drinks are flowing, and—uh-oh—the toilets are, too. And the super? He’s on vacation.

WHO TO CALL
Boyfriend for Hire, 800-266-9001 or 646-330-5090.

THE FIX
Plumbing services for $100 per hour, not including parts. They’ll also take on other “boyfriend” jobs like blown fuses and broken locks.

THE PROBLEM
Your pipes burst, and there’s water everywhere. The plumbers are here, but who’ll take care of the soggy carpets and floors?

WHO TO CALL
New York Carpet Cleaning, 866-560-1260.

THE FIX
A 24/7 response for $150 per room. They also clean drapes, air ducts, and furniture.

THE PROBLEM
The ham’s in the oven, which conks out midway through cooking, just hours before dinner guests arrive.

WHO TO CALL
Central Range Service, 800-427-4745.

THE FIX
The stoves-and-ovens-only service asks $85 per hour for Queens and Nassau, $115 per hour for Manhattan. If they can’t get to you in time to save dinner, ask them to troubleshoot by phone.

THE PROBLEM
It’s a freakishly early heat wave, and the air-conditioning system in your townhouse won’t turn on.

WHO TO CALL
Superior Same Day, 800-737-8556.

THE FIX
Superior charges $85 to diagnose the problem, and rolls the fee over into the cost of repairs. They also service most household appliances, including washers, dryers, and refrigerators.

THE PROBLEM
Your mother-in-law’s visiting, and the shower curtain you installed just fell, taking tiles and Sheetrock with it.

WHO TO CALL
Mike Trupiano of Handy in the City, 917-841-8032 or handyinthecity@yahoo.com.

THE FIX
For $35 to $60 per hour, Trupiano will take on small handyman-type jobs, including Ikea mishaps (i.e., that wall unit you tried to put together against your better judgment). He paints, too!

THE PROBLEM
The NCAAs are about to start, and you can’t figure out how to wire your new plasma TV.

WHO TO CALL
Geek Squad, 800-433-5778 or geeksquad.com.

THE FIX
The well-known computer fixers field TV and home-theater emergencies for $150 to $500.

Tape This to Your Fridge