The video for “Not Myself Tonight,” the lead single off of Christina Aguilera’s new album Bionic, jumps on the retro-chic “event” music-video train, with as much kinky bondage gear, F-bombs, product placement, and outré hairstyles as it can cram into three minutes. Following in the grand-ululating tradition of Jane Birkin, Salt N’ Pepa, and Madonna, Aguilera spends the last 45 seconds of the three-minute song making throaty sex sounds while clambering all over a male model. The two minutes and fifteen seconds that precede this do contain echoes of Lady Gaga, but the truth is, when you’re a tiny blonde chick running around in S&M gear, it’s hard not to look like another tiny blonde chick running around in S&M gear, especially when you’re both trying to look like a less tiny brunette chick running around in S&M gear.
