Darrelle Revis did not sign a contract on Hard Knocks last night, nor did he even appear on screen at any point. But that doesn’t mean that everyone in camp doesn’t have Revis on the brain. For example: The Jets — apparently unwilling to pay market value even for a magician to perform at the team’s rookie show — negotiated the performer’s price down to $2,500 from $3,500. When the Jets staff member who closed the deal asked if she could negotiate anything else, GM Mike Tannenbaum predictably answered “Call Revis.” Then later, during said magician’s show, Bart Scott inquired as to whether he could make Revis appear. Unfortunately, even the magician’s powers were too limited.
Last night’s episode spent plenty of time on special teams, explaining that for a lot of players, that’s their only chance to make the roster. That meant plenty of screen time for special-teams coordinator Mike Westhoff, and perhaps the line of the night, when he told tight end Matthew Mulligan that “I don’t give a shit if you’ve got the triple fucking Asian flu. When we call red, you get your ass to the outside, and don’t let that guy escape.” Westhoff also told David Clowney he’d cut him “right on the fucking field” if he repeated a particular mistake during a game. We hope Tony Dungy and Rex Ryan’s mom weren’t watching this part.
And then there was rookie Brian Jackson, who popped up a number of times, talking back to defensive-backs coach Dennis Thurman, getting hazed, and then winning the crown of King Ugly at rookie night. (The true winner here, however, was runner-up Vladimir Ducasse, who took home the money used to place votes. The true loser? Everyone who had to listen to Bo Smith’s “performance.”)
The Jets’ second preseason game, at Carolina, offered a glimpse at the complete spectrum of Rex Ryan emotions, which will heretofore range from his dejected response when learning that Ropati Pitoitua had torn his Achilles tendon and would miss the season to his reaction (“What a fucking hit!”) when game-ball recipient Cauncey Washington caused a fumble with a big hit on a return.
Last week, Ryan ripped his defensive reserves. This week, his ire was reserved specifically for the third-string defense, whom he described thusly: “Some of those guys can’t play dead in a B Western.” After the game, though, he appeared willing to let the offense slide for a quiet showing in the 9-3 win. Which makes sense. He’s a defense guy, after all.