it's a hard knocks life

Hard Knocks Recap: Hold the Cheeseburgers

Here’s the lesson of this week’s episode of Hard Knocks, as articulated by Rex Ryan: “There’s a difference between having fun and being a jackass.” For example, the coaches nailing Mark Sanchez with some grade-A binder humor is acceptable, as is Sanchez changing the background on Brian Schottenheimer’s computer, or drawing mustaches on frames containing his children’s pictures. But this week, the Jets’ shenanigans crossed that line of jackassery.

Ryan didn’t appreciate it when, during practice out at Hofstra, some members of his defense (including Antonio Cromartie) tore into a bag of McDonald’s cheeseburgers. For Ryan to serve not only as the Fun Police but also as the Cheeseburger Police tells you how much this bothered him (and special-teams coach Mike Westhoff, too).

There were other unpleasant moments as well: seeing Kevin O’Connell get cut from the roster, or hearing Mike Tannenbaum fear for the safety of his quarterback, or learning that there hasn’t been much progress with Darrelle Revis, despite what Tim Cowlishaw says. Also, there’s like a 3 percent chance that Jason Taylor will miss a game this year because he gets lost while driving to the stadium.

But at least we know what cheers Ryan up: bone-crunching hits, like the one Ryan’s man crush John Conner laid on an opponent during their Week 2 game (“The Terminator just knocked the piss out of somebody!”), or even the one security laid on a guy who’d ventured onto field during a practice (“Oh man, did they slam his ass!”).

One assumes that before the finale airs next week, Ryan will have further addressed the turnovers that plagued them against the Redskins. Though fair warning if you plan on tuning in next Wednesday to find out: The preview promises footage of a shirtless Rex Ryan, and it looks pretty much like you’d expect it would.

Hard Knocks Recap: Hold the Cheeseburgers