a grown man watching his video game play itself

Soon, Rex Ryan Will Start Trash-Talking Our PS3

We eagerly await the day when Bart Scott starts screaming into a television camera about how our PlayStation 3 doesn’t respect him. As with all playoff games, we simulated the Jets-Steelers AFC Championship Game on Madden 11, and, like all playoff games, our PS3 picked the Jets to lose. (Over the last two years, the Jets are 0–6 in PS3-simulated games. Obviously, quite predictive.) The Steelers beat the Jets 30–23, breaking a tie game with a three-yard Mewelde Moore touchdown run with 4:37 left. The Jets drove down to the Steelers’ four-yard line with 45 seconds left and no time-outs, but Mark Sanchez threw four incomplete passes from there, and the Steelers held on. The PS3 had little respect for the Jets defense: Ben Roethlisberger threw for 344 yards and two touchdowns, and former Illini Rashard Mendenhall ran for 127 yards and a touchdown. Sanchez was 14-for-38 with two interceptions, though LaDainian Tomlinson ran for 100 yards. (In the NFC Championship, the Packers beat the Bears 35–28.) Antonio Cromartie just called our PS3 an asshole.

Soon, Rex Ryan Will Start Trash-Talking Our PS3