how i met your mother
gossip girl season-finale
cliff-hanger G.E. chairman Don Geiss (Rip Torn) has entered a coma, and Jack Donaghy (Alec Baldwin) has quit NBC. For good? He’s not yet confirmed he’s in for the whole fall season … Ted (Josh Rodnor) asks Stella (Sarah Chalke) to marry him in the middle of an arcade. Sadly, if she says yes and they get married, the show is essentially over. A chain of complicated lies causes Upper East Side princess Serena (Blake Lively) to be dumped by her earnest Brooklyn boyfriend (Penn Badgley). what should happen MILF Island comes back as a show-within-a-show. Britney Spears returns, and Ted meets the mother of his children.
More havoc from Serena’s conniving grandmother CeCe Rhodes, who’s already faked terminal cancer.
what will probably happen instead Liz Lemon (Tina Fey) will begin the process of adopting a baby. Recycled Baby Mama jokes to ensue.
Ted will meet a number of celebrity actresses who we will be led to believe are the mother of his children, but actually aren’t. Serena and Dan will get back together. Yawn.
exciting cameo It’s been rumored that Fey will get Oprah Winfrey to guest star. Regis Philbin, in a scene involving a hamburger.
Tinsley Mortimer and Jay McInerney play facsimiles of themselves.
dirty sexy money season-finale
cliff-hanger Nico (Kim Raver) ends her affair with scorching hot young photographer Kirby (Robert Buckley) after her husband has a heart attack while she’s out on a tryst. Betty (America Ferrera) is forced to choose whether to fly to Rome with Gio (Freddy Rodriguez) or move to Tucson with Henry (Christopher Gorham). Dippy divorcée Karen (Natalie Zea) is revealed to be the brains (and boobs) of a scheme to undo vengeful billionaire Simon Elder (Blair Underwood). what should happen Guest star Bobby Cannavale returns, and the threesome that didn’t happen last time happens this time. Wilhelmina’s (Vanessa Williams) illegitimate baby turns out to be the kid from The Omen.
Lisa (Zoe McLellan) gets a makeover from Patrick Darling’s tranny mistress, Carmelita (Candis Cayne)..
what will probably happen instead Nico and Kirby get back together. Robert Buckley’s signed on for a new season, and let’s face it: Abs like his don’t stay offscreen for long.
Betty will stay in New York. The show is named after her—they can’t have her living somewhere like Tucson. Lisa will decide to solve her unhappiness by getting pregnant, causing familial tension to mount. exciting cameo Rosie Perez as a publicist, and Mary Tyler Moore as a mom (guess whose). Lindsay Lohan will reprise her role as school bully.
Lucy Liu, as a ball-busting lawyer.
Photographs: Clockwise from top left, courtesy of NBC/Nicole Rivelli, CBS/Cliff Lipson, the CW/Giovanni Rufino, NBC/Nicole Rivelli, ABC/Mitch Haddad, and ABC/Lorenzo Bevilaqua