If You: Always Felt Like You Were Born in the Wrong Era
Your Party: Speakeasy Moderne
Stage 72; 158 W. 72nd St., nr. Amsterdam Ave.; 212-362-2590
Step into Jazz-Age Manhattan with the twenties cabaret party Speakeasy Moderne. Along with a 10 p.m.-2 a.m. open bar, a ticket scores you entertainment by singer/songwriter Dina Finai, burlesque performances by Puss n Boots, and music ranging from the golden age of Broadway to pop hits of today. $200
If You: Enjoy Lithe Ladies
Your Party: Murray Hill’s Annual NYE Extravaganza!
The Slipper Room; 167 Orchard St., nr. Stanton St.; 212-253-7246; 9:30 p.m.
There’ll be booze, boobs, bawdy entertainment, and rapper Champagne Jerry (Neal Medlyn), with burlesque stunners and their humble ringmaster, Murray Hill, at his annual NYE blowout. $35-$100
If You: Are a Swinger
Your Party: Ring in the Swing
Allen Room, Jazz at Lincoln Center; 10 Columbus Circle; 212-721-6500; 8:30 p.m.
If you know it don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that swing, this jazz party is for you. Music will be provided by the Pedrito Martinez Group and the Dominick Farinacci Swing Dance Octet, with special guest-vocalist Charenee Wade, and there’ll be a southern-style buffet, should you need to rest your feet and look out on the spectacular Columbus Circle views. $325
If You: Don’t Mind Striking Out
Your Party: Bowling
Bowlmor Times Square; 222 W. 44th St.; nr. Eighth Ave.; 8 p.m.
Strike out this New Year—in a good way. At Bowlmor Times Square, you can ring in 2014 with private bowling, plenty of food, an open bar, a D.J., and hosts Sean Lowe and Catherine Giudici, The Bachelor stars, who know more than anyone that it’s hard out here for a pimp. $65-$185.
If You: Like Things Anonymous
Your Party: A Masquerade Ball
Lavo; 39 E. 58th St., nr. Park Ave.; 212-584-2700; 8:30 p.m.
You don’t have to wear a costume to this masquerade ball, but what fun would that be? D.J. Jeffrey Tonnesen will spin for a night that includes a four-hour premium open bar, hors d’oeuvre, and a toast at midnight. Who will you want to be at midnight? $160
If You: Want to Party With Celebs
Your Party: New Year’s Eve at Madame Tussauds
Madame Tussauds; 234 W. 42nd St., nr. Seventh Ave.; 212-201-0735; 8 p.m.
The celebrities at this shindig—just a block away from the ball drop—will be totally fake, but how different is that from real life? (Zing!) Snap your pics with them anyway while enjoying a buffet, passed hors d’oeuvre, a D.J., a 4-D attraction (3-D cinema enhanced with special effects, including wind, snow, mist, and scent), and, if you’re extra baller, a live and up-close view of the ball drop in Times Square. $85-$335
If You: Prefer a Fright
Your Party: A Haunted House
Times Scare; 669 Eighth Ave., nr. 42nd St.; 212-201-0735
Horror buffs will want to check out this year-round, three-story mansion of the macabre, with its high-end and highly frightening haunted house, morgue-themed restaurant, the Crypt Café, and candelabra-lit bar serving up potent cocktails. Admission includes food and drink, but the haunted house is extra. We suggest you splurge. $85-$135
If You: Are Soulful
Your Party: Subway Soul Club NYE
Coco 66; 266 Greenpoint Ave., nr West St.; 8 p.m.
Sail into 2014 as smooth as can be, with grooves from vintage vinyl 45s, a spacious dance floor to kick it, and a free Champagne toast at midnight. $15 online, $20 at the door
If You: Dig Balloons
Your Party: Webster Hall New Year’s Eve
Webster Hall; 125 E. 11th St., nr. Third Ave.; 212-353-1600; 8 p.m.
They sure do promise a lot at this annual shindig. First of all, four stories of “heart-pounding” dance floors. And that your dreams will come true. Maybe, if your dream is to see the largest balloon drop in the free world—something they also promise—you’re good to go. $99-$150.
If You: Love Your Leg Warmers
Your Party: Culture Club
Culture Club; 20 W. 39th St., nr. Fifth Ave.; 212-921-1999; 8 p.m.
Hey, is that Cyndi Lauper? No, but she’d be right at home at this throwback nightclub. Watch out when mixing an open bar with neon lights. If you need to temper the tubular vibe, the D.J. will also be playing the hits of the eighties and the present day to facilitate you being a maniac on the dance floor. $65-$155
If You: Are Athletic
Your Party: Park Avenue Social Club at SPiN
SPiN; 45 E. 23rd St., nr. Park Ave. S.; 212-982-8802; 8 p.m.
What better way to work on your ping-pong game than at this party, fueled by a five-hour premium open bar? If that doesn’t sound appealing, you can always dance the night away to a soundtrack of top-40, hip-hop, and house. Reserved seating is available, as well as after-12:30 admission. $55-$135
More Party Spots
2nd Floor on Clinton
Fashion 40 Lounge
Gansevoort Park Avenue
Greenwich Village Country Club
Kiss & Fly
Le Poisson Rouge
Santos Party House