Happy Birthday Jesus – The Alaska Christmas Show
Laurie Beechman Theatre, 407 W. 42nd St., nr. Ninth Ave.; 212-695-6909; Dec. 13–15
The RuPaul’s Drag Race favorite shows off her extraterrestrial vibe in her first-ever holiday-themed show, in which she’ll sing eccentric interpretations of holiday favorites and original material alongside a handsome accompanist. It’ll surely make your Yuletide gay!
Justin Vivian Bond and Friends: Let It Show!
Joe’s Pub, 425 Lafayette St., nr. Astor Pl.; 212-539-8777; Dec. 22 and 23
Mx Justin Vivian Bond, the incomparable cabaret performer, returns to the familiar environs of Joe’s Pub with a host of friends in tow for two evenings of holiday-inspired songs and stories. It’s all but guaranteed to be a sublime experience.
Distorted Kristmess
Laurie Beechman Theatre, 407 W. 42nd St., nr. Ninth Ave.; 212-695-6909; Nov. 29–Dec. 20
The ladies of the long-running drag hit Distorted Diznee apply their twisted lens to classics like The Grinch Who Stole Christmas and A Charlie Brown Christmas, complete with a visit from the Port Authority Cockettes, a low-budget version of the Rockettes.
Naked Holidays
The Cutting Room, 44 E. 32nd St., nr. Park Ave.; 212-691-1900; Nov. 29–Dec. 30
Mischief and naked merriment reign freely in this evening of holiday-themed sketches and musical numbers (returning for its seventh year), including “A Very Paula Deen Hannukah,” “Christmas Village of the Damned,” and, of course, the traditional full-monty closer, “The Naked People Play.”
A Very Cougar Christmas
Laurie Beechman Theatre, 407 W. 42nd St., nr. Ninth Ave.; 212-695-6909; Dec. 12 and 17
One is fun, but two is better. TV personality Pandora Boxx joins forces with YouTube sensation Sherry Vine for this blend of Christmas carol parodies, naughty Santa jokes, and Sherry’s homage to Hannukah.
Jackie Hoffman: Heeb for the Holidays
Joe’s Pub, 425 Lafayette St., nr. Astor Pl.; 212-539-8777; Dec. 20–24
With her typically wry outlook and self-lacerating humor, veteran performer Hoffman returns to the stage with a new show about living in an ever-changing New York and her experiences as a straight Jewish woman aboard a gay cruise during the high holidays.
Jackie Beat: O Holy Hell
Laurie Beechman Theatre, 407 W. 42nd St., nr. Ninth Ave.; 212-695-6909; Dec. 14 and 15
Deranged drag star Jackie Beat returns for her fifteenth annual holiday show to eliminate all seasonal goodwill and cheer, with numbers like her cocaine-fueled rewrite of “Let It Snow” and a pregnancy confessional in “Santa’s Baby.”
The Seventh Annual Menorah Horah
(Le) Poisson Rouge, 158 Bleecker St., nr. Thomspson St.; 212-505-3474; Dec. 5
Sibling duo the Schlep Sisters headline this night of laughter and latkes, featuring a performer lineup of burlesque’s best, including Little Brooklyn, Jonny Porkpie, Dangrrr Doll, Bastard Keith, Cassandra Rosebeetle, Fancy Feast, and Zoe Ziegfeld.
Christmas Smackdown
Laurie Beechman Theatre, 407 W. 42nd St., nr. Ninth Ave.; 212-695-6909; Dec. 19 and 20
Already a hit in Chicago and Los Angeles, this evening of vicious songs makes its New York premiere. Songwriters Mark Nutter and Cynthia Carle take on arson, alcohol, divorce, and death in a show that should appeal to anyone who hates hearing “White Christmas.”
Nutcracker Rouge
Minetta Lane Theatre, 18 Minetta Ln., nr. Sixth Ave.; 212-420-8000; Nov. 30–Jan. 5
If the first thing you think of when you hear The Nutcracker is tutus, this show would like you to reconsider. Staged as a hedonistic display, the production blends theater, circus, dance, and partial nudity to tell the familiar tale.