Lonely Hearts Shows

The Bell HousePhoto: Sam Horine

New York’s Largest Singles Anti-Valentine’s Day Party
Stitch Bar & Lounge, 2/11 at 10 p.m., 247 W. 37th St., nr. Eighth Ave., 212-852-4826, $20
It might be a few days before V-Day, but why not celebrate being unattached with 150 other singles? A ticket gets you a night of drink specials, free snacks, and entertainment (plus the promise that everyone around you is available).

136th Annual Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show
Madison Square Garden, 2/13 and 2/14, 4 Penn Plz., nr. 31st St., 212-465-6741, $25-150
If the last thing you want to do is spend your day thinking about love and other people, spend it paying attention to man’s best friend at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. Sure, you can watch it on television, but head to MSG to catch the pageantry and “Best in Show” without commercials.

The Rejection Show Valentine’s Day Heartbreak Haven
Littlefield, 2/14 at 8 p.m., 622 Degraw St., Brooklyn, 718-855-3388, $10-12
Littlefield hosts a night of comedians poking fun at something we all hate: getting rejected. Funny people like Dave Hill, Elna Baker, Vulture’s own Eliot Glazer and a handful of other comedians may not rob rejection of its sting, but at least they’ll help you laugh at it.

Never Sleep Alone
Joe’s Pub, 2/14 at 9:30 p.m., 425 Lafayette St., nr. Astor Pl., 212-539-8777, $25-$80
Open to laughter and maybe meeting someone? Joe’s Pub has got you covered. Sexual psychologist and music therapist Dr. Alex Schiller will perform a mix of comedy and pop songs (tweaked to make them flirtier and more Valentine’s appropriate, of course), all the while dispensing advice from her book Get Laid or Die Trying. She’ll also guide you through speed dating if you’re up for it. Just want to watch? That’s okay, too, but you’ll have to pay a little more.

Unloveable: A Smiths & Morrissey Valentine’s Day
The Bell House, 2/14 at 10 p.m., 149 7th St., Brooklyn, 718-643-6510, $10-12
Take the bite out of being alone on Valentine’s by checking out the Sons & Heirs, a Smiths and Morrissey cover band. Get there extra-early for a chance to sing your favorite songs about heartbreak during pre-show karaoke.

Love Bites: The Power Ballads Sing-Along
Union Hall, 2/14 at 10 p.m., 702 Union St., Brooklyn, 718-638-4400, $8
Feel like spending your night singing (or screaming) about heartbreak? Union Hall is hosting a night of eighties and nineties power-ballad sing-alongs, with hand-subtitled music videos from legends like Bon Jovi, Cyndi Lauper, and Guns N’ Roses. If that’s not enough, there will also be an air guitar competition, a “worst breakup” story contest, and Valentine’s candy.

…Or When All Else Fails, Check Out a Concert
Grab your favorite single concert buddy and go to a show. This year’s slate of Valentine’s sets is nothing to scoff at, with Dirty Fences at Cake Shop and Gabriel and the Hounds at Mercury Lounge among the many options.

Lonely Hearts Shows