cultural capital Mar. 23, 2007

We Welcome You, Alien Overlords

Wherein we arrange Times headlines in verse to bring you secret truths from the paper of record.

Government Opens U.F.O. Files

Minister Critical of ‘Blond’ Envoys,
A Hidden Populace in a Vacant Lot

Seeking Office Where Fiction and Fact Blur.
A Bittersweet Return

Stirring Up Cultural Storm.
Citizen of the World,

How to Come Close?
No Sex, Please! We’re French. —Lizzie Skurnick

Tags:

Show Leave a Comment

We Welcome You, Alien Overlords

Things you buy through our links may earn Vox Media a commission.

Most Viewed Stories

Editor’s Picks

THE FEED

What Happened in the Trump Trial Today: The Dismissals Fly

By Intelligencer Staff

A running recap of Donald Trump’s first criminal trial.

early and often

early and often

The House’s Anti-Mike Johnson Club Gets a Loud New Member

Marjorie Taylor Greene has gained a lone ally in Thomas Massie, but their efforts aren’t going anywhere for now.

early and often

early and often

Did Trump Really Consider Making RFK Jr. His VP Pick?

Team MAGA is denying a flirtation with the independent candidate, but the two demagogues have a lot in common and could yet conspire to smite Biden.

Most Popular

‘Sleepy Don’: Trump Falls Asleep (Again!) During Hush-Money Trial

By Margaret Hartmann

Courtroom reporters saw Trump “dozing off” during the first day of his Manhattan criminal trial. Then he did it again on day two.

Elon Musk Has Forgotten What Tesla Is

By Kevin T. Dugan

The electric vehicle–maker is cutting 10 percent of its workforce ahead of a big robotaxi announcement, just as its sales are plummeting.

the national interest

the national interest

Paul Krugman Is Right About the Economy, and the Polls Are Wrong

By Jonathan Chait

Sometimes experts get it wrong, but not this time.

early and often

early and often

The Never Trumper Listening to Trump Voters

By David Freedlander

Sarah Longwell thinks there are still “normie” Republicans left. She happens to be one.

tremendous content

tremendous content

Trump’s Gettysburg Address Featured a Pirate Impression

By Margaret Hartmann

He claimed that during the battle, Robert E. Lee exclaimed, “Never fight uphill, me boys!” like a Confederate Captain Jack Sparrow.

the national interest

the national interest

Marjorie Taylor Greene Attempts Trump Legal Defense, Fails Very Badly

By Jonathan Chait

Do not hire the space laser congresswoman as your criminal attorney.

The Woman Who Ate Eric Adams for Breakfast

By Angelina Chapin

Activist Olayemi Olurin channeled a whole city’s frustration to grill the mayor on morning radio.

Salman Rushdie Parties Again

By Simon van Zuylen-Wood

A defiant celebration of Knife caps a physical (and reputational) comeback.

Trump Media’s Stock Price Is Plummeting. His Election Odds Aren’t.

By Kevin T. Dugan

There’s more going on here than Trump fans betting on the ex-president to win.

Free the Trump Trial Transcripts

The New York court system’s maddening lack of transparency is about to be a national embarrassment — unless the state’s chief judges intervene.

the city politic

the city politic

On Patrol With the New York City Rat Czar

By Mark Chiusano

Kathleen Corradi has several million furry problems on her hands and a bureaucracy to navigate.

just asking questions

just asking questions

The Reporter Behind the Trump Hush-Money Trial

The Wall Street Journal’s Joe Palazzolo, who broke the story that started it all, on what he’s looking for in court this week and beyond.

What Will Iran’s Attack on Israel Mean? Live Updates.

Iran’s air assault on Israel, and how Israel now responds, could prompt a regional war. Here’s the latest reaction, commentary, and analysis.

early and often

early and often

Who’s the Trump VP Pick? Latest Odds for Every Shortlist Candidate.

By Margaret Hartmann

Does Stefanik have “the look”? Is Scott loyal enough? Is Tulsi Gabbard out? Here are each VP candidate’s odds in the race to be Trump’s running mate.

the national interest

the national interest

What Is Donald Trump’s Stance on Seizing Russian Assets?

By Jonathan Chait

Trump loves taking other countries’ money, but maybe not all countries.

Biden Has All But Caught Up With Trump in Polls

There are many variables at play, including RFK Jr. and whose voters turn out.

early and often

early and often

Why Trump and Mike Johnson Are Promoting a Redundant Ban on Noncitizen Voting

In an effort to win Trump’s protection, the Speaker is abetting a preemptive attack on the legitimacy of the 2024 election.

early and often

early and often

Trump Boots Anti-Abortion Extremists From His VP Shortlist

Potential running mates like Kristi Noem and Tim Scott may be out now that Trump is embracing “states’ rights” to downplay the issue.

What to Know About the New Student-Loan-Forgiveness Plans

By Lynnley Browning, Nia Prater, and Chas Danner

Biden’s relief measures and proposals are good news for borrowers — if you can figure out their looming deadlines and complexity.

What I Knew About O.J. Simpson’s Gloves

By Robin Sayers

I’d held them many times. But was I ready to testify about it?

noem trespassing

noem trespassing

Noem, Potential Trump VP Pick, Banned From 15 Percent of Her State

Thanks to her unsubstantiated claims about cartel activity on reservation land, South Dakota’s governor isn’t welcome in a vast swath of South Dakota.

Donald Trump’s Trial Is a Rorschach Test

Is it criminal accountability or prosecutorial overreach? That’s in the eye of the beholder.