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We’re Losing the Portable-Toilet Naming Contest

Portable Toilets

Portable toilets at the flea market on Avenue B and 11th StreetPhoto: Andrew Adam Newman

New Yorkers are always trying to be cleverer-than-thou, even when it comes to naming their portable toilets. The city is awash in portalets from companies called “A Royal Flush” and “Call-A-Head.” But we’ve got nothing on the rest of the country. We consulted The Blue Book of Building and Construction to find the top twenty unfortunately named portable-toilet companies from near and far:

20. Happy Can Portable Toilets, Atlanta
19. Drop Zone Portable Service Inc., Frankfort, Ill.
18. Blackmas Best Seat In The House Inc., Bradley, Ill.
17. Plop Jon Inc., Port Saint Lucie, Fla.
16. A.S.A.P. Port-A-Pots Inc., Hampstead, Md.
15. Ameri-Can Engineering, Argos, Ind.
14. Bobby’s Pottys, Joppa, Md.
13. Johnny On The Spot Inc., Old Bridge, N.J.
12. LepreCAN Portable Restrooms, Chicago
11. Loader-Up, Inc., Sarasota, Fla.
10. Mister Bob’s Portable Toilets, Vero Beach, Fla.
9. Royal Throne, Washington, D.C.
8. Tanks Alot, Tomball, Tex.
7. Tee Pee Inc, Roseville, Mich.
6. Wizards of Ooze Ltd., Anacortes, Wash.
5. Oui Oui Enterprises Ltd., Chicago
4. Gotta Go Potties, Tobyhanna, Pa.
3. UrinBiz.com, Chicago
2. Willy Make It?, Oregon City, Oreg.
1. Doodie Calls, New Orleans
— Andrew Adam Newman

We’re Losing the Portable-Toilet Naming Contest