party lines

E Pluribus, Man Band

Chris KirkpatrickPhoto: Getty Images

VH1’s latest genius concept show, Mission: Man Band, debuts today at, well, now. But last night its stars, former boy-banders being molded for your viewing pleasure into the grown-up boy band Sure Shot, celebrated the premiere at Gramercy’s Runway Club. The band’s four members — who hail from Color Me Badd, LFO, 98 Degrees, and ‘N Sync (the Backstreet Boys, apparently, think they still have their original careers) — were disappointingly nice and PR-trained and heterosexual-seeming. 98 Degrees’ Jeffrey Timmons said the show was a “great opportunity” and brought up the possibility of reuniting with his former mates, including Nick Lachey. “I think it’s definitely about that time,” he said, likely noting that Lachey has done nothing musical since Vanessa Minnillo gave him just one night (una noche!).

We cornered Chris Kirkpatrick, former ‘N Sync’er, and asked him the only logical question: Do those insipid lyrics ever work on women? The answer was no, mostly, but he admitted that hidden somewhere in his lyrical catalog was one successful pickup line he first used and then later turned into song, from his post-Sync solo career. What song? He didn’t say. But after a visit to, “your source for everything Chris Kirkpatrick,” we offer the following three most likely possibilities:

What makes me happy / Fills me up with glee / Those bones in my jaw that don’t have a flaw / My shiny teeth and me.” —“My Shiny Teeth and Me,” performed for Nickelodeon’s Fairly OddParents

Jodi wishes she could be a porn star / Taking all her clothes off in L.A./ Jodi wishes she could be a porn star / Going down for money / Going down for fame.” —“Jodi’s Song”

We really hope it’s that last one. —Marc Tracy

E Pluribus, Man Band