Ever since having babies replaced tennis as the sport of choice for young wealthies, the number of children in Manhattan has multiplied — there are 30 percent more in 2005 than 2000, according to census figures, and guess what? This doesn’t bode so well for Kelty and Chestnut getting into Horace Mann this year. There are so many kids, today’s New York Sun says, that private nursery schools have become even more competitive than they already were, and elite training grounds like the Buckley School have battened down their hatches ever tighter. The Sun tries its best to convince us that all of this adds up to the private-school version of a run on the bank, that panic is breeding panic and it’s only a matter of time before parents begin trampling each other and the street in front of the Little School will be littered with bloody corpses if the schools don’t start changing their processes now!
But they just keep getting smacked down by their own reporting. “We’re not hearing an uproar in the streets yet,” the head of the parents’ league tells the Sun. “And the good news is — frankly, as it has been in the past — everyone has a place.” Well, perhaps not everyone. Sorry, Sun readers. If your kid doesn’t get into school this year, it’s not necessarily because of a greater societal issue. It just might be that they’re not special enough.