So the other night Anderson Cooper was on Conan talking about how he had to have this fatty deposit removed from under his eye. We found this shocking — first, that Anderson had any fat at all on him, since he’s been working out so much lately, and second because how dare any doctor suggest to him he change anything about himself when he clearly is perfect and adorable? Anderson says the cosmetic surgeon he eventually saw had other suggestions, too! We hope to God they didn’t include on that list our favorite feature — the cleft. You know what we’re talking about. That little forehead hole that breaks up the Ken doll smoothness of A.C.’s face, preventing him from being blindingly handsome and making him look imperfect, even … attainable. Okay, difficult assignments seemed to have deepened the cleft, and sure, ever since we got HD we’ve found it a wee bit distracting. Last night, for instance, we could barely pay attention to what he was saying about Larry Craig and nuns, so focused were we on that space in between his eyes. If he were sitting next to us on our couch, we thought, what would we stick in it?
1. a raisin
2. a small clay bead
3. the eraser from a pencil
4. a pine nut
5. a peanut (shelled)
6. a Marcona almond
And then we realized Anderson’s cleft is making us … nuts.
Anderson Cooper on Conan [YouTube]