Sheryl Crow thinks it’s “pathetic” that Lance Armstrong is dating Ashley Olsen. Paris Hilton has been frequenting New York hot spots very late at night (or, rather, early in the morning). Donald Trump Jr. is suing the board members of his West Side condo for kicking him off. Jon Corzine’s ex, 48-year-old Carla Katz, is dating a 32-year-old American soldier and former model. Torch, a new club slated to open tonight, is scrambling to get Tiki Barber and 800 other invitees not to show up because the plumbing isn’t ready. A guy on the subway once told Matthew Broderick that he looked and sounded exactly like Matthew Broderick.
The guy who owns Cain and Gold Bar was in London, scouting a new club location. Michelle Williams, shockingly, didn’t show up with Heath Ledger to the party for Dylan biopic I’m Not There at the Bowery Hotel. (Equally shocking, Julianne Moore wore the same heels to the party that she did to Tom Cruise’s last week.) Sean Connery says he lost his virginity at age 8. (Johnny Depp was 13.) O.J. Simpson was really chatty with fellow passengers on a Delta red-eye from Vegas to Fort Lauderdale. Heather Mills’s new flack hates Joy Behar and the rest of the cast of the ladies on The View. The Ethiopian lady who is Jolie kid Zahara’s birth mother wants to be with her. Fabio gloated to a bunch of middle-aged men at an Equinox in L.A. that he “schooled” George Clooney. Cheeta, the 75-year-old chimp from Tarzan, has a tell-all coming out. Jason Bateman thinks fans of Teen Wolf Too are potheads. Owen Wilson sat next to Miss Universe Riyo Mori at a party.