You’re at a party, sitting bored on the couch next to some drunk Indian guy, when a shaggy-haired, twinkly-eyed stranger ambles up to you. He smiles. You smile back. “What’s your name?” he says. You tell him, and then you ask for his. “Adrian,” he says. He says he’s a documentary filmmaker, along with some other stuff. As he says this, his eyes twinkle, and you realize that you have seen these twinkling eyes before, on the hit show Entourage. Why, it’s Adrian Grenier! Immediately, you start planning your lives together. Half the year, you’ll live in his Clinton Hill brownstone. Winters, you’ll decamp to Los Angeles, with the occasional jaunt to St. Barts, Italy, and Cannes. He asks what you do. You tell him you’re in fashion. “That’s cool,” he says. Maybe he’ll pay for you to start your own clothing line, like Harvey did for Georgina! Then he leans in and huskily whispers the thing every woman has always dreamed of hearing. “So,” he says, “how about we go home, and I fuck the shit out of you?”
Adrian Grenier Pickup Lines: A Play in One Act [Radar]
UPDATE Last night Intel recieved the following email:
Sent: Wednesday, January 09, 2008 9:33:23 PM
To: intel; Rovzar, Chris
Subject: FALSE STORY: Adrian Grenier Meets a Belle in the Big City
Radar’s Neel Shah stands by his story. “I am not nearly creative enough to make something like this up,” he told us. “For further pickup tactics from the Adrian Grenier handbook, please refer to this recent Daily News item:
Our spies say “Entourage” pretty boy Adrian Grenier spent the last hours of 2007 propositioning girls for threesomes at the Shore Club in Miami. “He’s a pretty smooth talker,” said a mole. “He’d flirt with pairs of girls, then say, ‘Why don’t we just all go upstairs? I want to sleep with both of you.’ ” But alas, the HBO hunk was shot down every time. “I was down for it but my friend wasn’t, and I couldn’t bring myself to ditch her,” one beauty said. Grenier’s rep didn’t return our calls.
“Dude needs to take a seminar with Mystery,” Shah added.