Michelle Obama Doesn’t Need to Fight Bill Clinton — That’s What You Are For

Michelle Obama

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We just got an e-mail from Michelle Obama that, frankly, has left us a little disappointed. It turns out that Michelle, whom we have always perceived to be the balls portion of the whole Obama package, is turning her sights on Bill Clinton. In an e-mail to supporters with the subject “What we didn’t expect,” Mama Obama has this to say:

We knew getting into this race that Barack would be competing with Senator Clinton and President Clinton at the same time. We expected that Bill Clinton would tout his record from the nineties and talk about Hillary’s role in his past success. That’s a fair approach and a challenge we are prepared to face. What we didn’t expect, at least not from our fellow Democrats, are the win-at-all-costs tactics we’ve seen recently. We didn’t expect misleading accusations that willfully distort Barack’s record.

We knew Michelle had been called into South Carolina to counter the Bubba effect. On the ground, she’s been talking generally about “opponents” using “attacks and fear.” But we were kind of hoping that she’d take him face-on more openly. It’s partially because one of us is gay, and therefore enjoys any scenario in which a powerful black woman lays the smack down.

It’s also because it would have really made the former president look like a bully if he wound up trying to stare her down directly. Instead, Michelle tried something even more devious (well, obviously it was the campaign strategist, but we’re trying to deal in archetypes here, people). She e-mailed to suggest that, instead of having a former president to battle for him, all Obama has is you. “He’s relying on us,” “she” writes. “You, me, and hundreds of thousands of people like us who are giving whatever they can afford to support this movement.” Only you can fight back against the big, red-faced bully. Which, we think, would be maybe a better tactic if it weren’t just relegated to an e-mail to supporters asking for money.

Michelle Obama Doesn’t Need to Fight Bill Clinton — That’s What You Are For