[Psychic Sylvia Browne walks out onto an empty stage. Montel Williams sits in the audience, surrounded by empty chairs. She puts her hands on her hips. She is draped in rosaries.]
Montel: Sylvia, my show is dead.
Sylvia: I know Montel. It’s been talking to me from the other side all day. It is pissed.
Montel: Oh! What is it saying? I miss it so much already. I wish I could just see it syndicated, one more time. To say good-bye.
Sylvia: Wait, it’s telling me something. You…what? You killed it? Montel — you killed your own show?? You KEEELLED it?
Montel: I didn’t kill it. It will go on for another year in “Best of Montel” episodes.
Sylvia: I see headaches in your future, Montel. Headaches, and special features on Tru TV.
Montel: Not Tru TV!
Sylvia: It’s called revenge! It’s called karma! It’s DEAD. And you DEADED it.
Montel: But I birthed it, too! It wouldn’t exist without me.
Sylvia: That’s what makes it so cruel.