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Star Jones Axed From truTV

Star Jones

I’m sorry? I can’t hear you over your glasses.Photo: FilmMagic

Star Jones will no longer have her eponymous show on the cable network after today. A letter from truTV general manager Marc Juris said that Jones and the channel, which re-branded itself from its older Court TV incarnation this month, “mutually agree” on the move. “Page Six” gives some insight on why it might have been “mutual”: Jones will continue to receive the rest of her $24 million paycheck as stipulated in her three-year contract, even though she will only appear on truTV from now on as a guest analyst. Jones was eliminated from the channel’s lineup because it is trying to switch its focus to purely tabloid coverage, and the lawyer was deemed too serious, according to reports. “Too serious?” we thought when we read this. “Star JONES?” But then when we reconsidered, it’s true: She kind of has gotten seriously lately. When we see her on the Today show, we sort of think of her as a reliable, insightful law analyst. Oh no! We used to only think of her with mockery and hilarity. Can we really have changed our mind because she lost some pounds? Are we really that weight-ist? Then we delved deep into our soul and realized it wasn’t the weight loss at all. It was the GLASSES. Getting those architect glasses was the smartest thing Star ever did. Since the beginning of time, human beings have been programmed to think of people with serious glasses as great thinkers. Benjamin Franklin? Spectacles. Eustace Tilley? A monocle. Abraham? Boxley plastic frames by Oliver Peoples. Now, everybody watch Star’s last episode today at 3 p.m. We can only hope, nay dream, she goes as bonkers as Connie Chung did on her final MSNBC show.

truTV Axes The “Star Jones Show” []

Star Jones Axed From truTV