Seemingly on her way to stardom after winning the Best Actress Oscar a week ago, Marion Cotillard has stumbled upon what just may be the most surefire way imaginable to instantly erase all American goodwill and devastate her box-office potential:
Step 1: Posit that 9/11 was a conspiracy designed to renovate the Twin Towers without having to pay for costly rewiring.
Step 2: After denigrating America’s greatest tragedy, question the validity of America’s greatest accomplishment: landing a man on the moon.
Step 3: Be French.
Step 4: When confronted with your conspiracy theories, claim they were taken out of context, but don’t disown them.
Step 5: In fact, remind America that it’s not the only one that makes movies and that you can simply film in other places.
Done. That’s all it takes to complete the Marion Cotillard “Five-Step Plan for Destroying a Burgeoning Acting Career.” It’s that easy, friends. —Dan Amira