cultural capital

Martha Stewart Wants You to Name Her Cows

When someone sends you a Website link along with the descriptor “Creepy Neighbor Martha With Her Tame Midget Cows,” you click on it immediately and without question. There is no other response. So that’s exactly what we did when senior news editor Jessica Coen IMed us a link to Martha Stewart’s highly entertaining blog earlier today, and we were not disappointed.

See, Martha’s neighbors asked her to cattle-sit their two miniature Hereford cows while they’re away for the summer. This is no problem for Martha, who already has a farm. She just tossed them in the backyard with her miniature donkeys. Yet she still can’t figure out what to name them, and she needs your help, America. Martha is putting the naming to a vote on her site, and she already has several suggestions: Napoleon and Josephine, Maggie and Thatcher, Sir Loin and Madame Bovine, Isabel and Ferdinand, Hillary and Barack, Jen and Ben. There are more choices, but you should go see them for yourself, along with the pictures of the mini-cows, which need to be experienced in person. After the jump, we spend way more time than was necessary debating over IM what Martha Stewart should name her cattle.

COEN: Hey, check it out! Creepy neighbor Martha with her tame midget cows!
COEN: Actually they’re like FREAK COWS.
NOELNOEL: Wow. Just wow. I really thought her blog had been hacked at first.
COEN: Maggie and Thatcher? You can’t name a duo Maggie AND Thatcher.
COEN: WTF Martha?
NOELNOEL: And naming a cow Sir Loin is just wrong on so many levels.
COEN: Also, Hillary and Barack? She posted that today. Like, today, of all days, that’s a choice? Is she going to rig the results?
COEN: Sir Loin is winning.
NOELNOEL: Good God, what is wrong with this country? —Noelle Hancock

What shall I name my new Hereford cattle? [Martha Blog]

Martha Stewart Wants You to Name Her Cows