Once a week, Daily Intel takes a peek at what your friends and neighbors are doing behind doors left slightly ajar. Today, the Possibly Cuckolded Wall Street Dad: 51, male, derivatives trader, financial district, straight, married.
6:18 a.m.: Woke up with the little guy stretching himself out under the covers. Wife says I’m like an 18-year-old in the mornings. I always tell her she can be my “cougar,” but we never get any early-morning dalliances. We have been together for eight years. I did not want to marry a second time, especially someone eleven years younger, so we lived together for three years, and the sex was great. Got married, and our sex life changed to zilch overnight. Wife out of town at a conference. Help little guy stretch to our mutual satisfaction.
7:02 a.m.: Drifting back to sleep.
7:12 a.m.: Youngest daughter (preschooler) of two, barking orders from living room. She is hungry and wants her shows on TV. Need to be out the door in 90 minutes for a Saturday gym class with youngest daughter.
9:30 a.m.: Gym class a playground for the dads. A few cute mothers and many hot young gymnastics instructors. Can’t keep my eyes off the one with the tight gym pants and low cut T-shirt. I bet she likes to stretch.
12:30 p.m.: Take youngest daughter to quick lunch with one of my employees. She is very nice, but I can’t even think about it, because she looks the same age as my other daughter, a middle schooler from the first marriage.
3 p.m.: : No word from wife. She goes to this conference every June for the last three years. Hmmm … a conference that starts on Tuesday and lasts through Sunday morning? Wife never wants to have sex anymore, but when we dated, she wanted it three times a day. I know she has a few male clients that appear to get very flirty in their e-mails to her —I do covertly check her e-mails once in a while. Did she deceive me about her appetite, or does she give it at the office?
8:30 p.m.: Wife calls from last night of conference to speak to daughters while I am trying to get them ready for bed. Someone keeps whispering to wife in background and I hear water splashing. I am told it is my imagination — she is in a spa getting treatments. Really? This time of night on the last night of a conference? I conclude she has a “same time next year” relationship with a conferencegoer.
10:30 p.m.: Retire to computer screen to check e-mail accounts (all five) but am sidetracked by Redtube. Laptop warms lap. Must stretch little guy. Place ad on Craigslist. Want to meet a married woman in same situation, a “dry” marriage.
7:30 a.m.: Youngest daughter wakes me up with cheers that Mommy is coming home today. I was dreaming of going down on the redhead delight in the office across the hall. Curtains matched the drapes in my dream — but very unlikely in real life.
1 p.m.: Birthday party with youngest. One of the married mothers keeps giving me the eye — low-cut jeans, nice body, white T-shirt.
6:30 p.m.: Mommy home and two daughters are in pandemonium. Mommy looks very hot and very tanned. She seems very pumped up for just having been on a three-hour flight and commute from the airport.
10 p.m.: Daughters in bed. I am reading, but wife interrupts to start an argument about me not calling her at the conference. If I called her, she would be complaining that I was checking up on her — always lose-lose. She likes to implement this conflict strategy around bedtime to prevent any sexual advances. She looks hot while she is complaining, giving me a headache.
Midnight: Wife finally stops with the attack and retires to bed. She had me at WTF.
12:05 a.m.: I take laptop on to the couch and check e-mails. Nothing from Craigslist ad. I really doubt that people hook up on Craigslist. Redtube does its job to our mutual satisfaction.
6:45 a.m.: Back from morning run, but before stepping into shower, as I place my clothes in laundry hamper, I notice wife’s laundry from her trip — two short nighties? She wears sweatpants seven nights a week. Should I say anything? For full disclosure, I have not had an affair yet (was even faithful in first marriage), but I cannot live in a sexless marriage. Okay, we have sex about twice a month. Not enough! A couple of close encounters, but I need it to be the right person, a connection. I never thought I would be in this situation, but I can certainly understand why men cheat.
10:10 a.m.: Wife e-mails that she went to the office instead of taking the day off to run errands. I call her office about 10:55; no answer. I e-mail her back to call me; no answer. I call her cell phone; no answer. For the next two hours, I try to reach her every twenty minutes. Three e-mails and four cell-phone calls later, I give up — this is very unlike her. She is always in touch.
Noon: Things are dead at work, so I walk home for lunch. My heart is pumping as I get to the apartment, but no one is home. Am I crazy to think something is going on?
12:30 p.m.: I call her cell phone from home. She answers — I guess she thought the nanny was calling about youngest. She says that she just got back to the office and was only gone for an hour and did not take her cell phone or BlackBerry with her. I tell her that something does not feel right. She tells me I need help. Am I crazy to think something is going on? I pack a bag and call friend who has offered his couch during fights before.
6 p.m.: Friend is excited to have me in the singles’ camp with him. He has needed a wingman. He asks how serious this is. I am still in shock and tell him I am not sure what the future holds but feel like I need answers about her suspicious behavior. I drink too much.
8:30 p.m.: Call home to talk to youngest daughter. Wife answers. She asks me not to discuss any details of what is going on with daughter. I tell youngest that I am out on business, working late and will not be home for next few nights.
8:45 p.m.: Call older daughter at her mother’s home. She asks where I am — guess she had called me at home. I tell her I am at a friend’s house, that there was an argument. Her only concern is that she will be able to see her youngest (sister). She loves having a sister. I tell her I love her and that “you two girls are the best thing to ever happen to me.”
9:30 p.m.: Cell phone rings, caller I.D. says it is home. I ignore. I need to think about everything that has happened.
11 p.m.: Trying to get to sleep on very lumpy and dusty couch. No thoughts of sex tonight, only of my daughters and how they will handle this.
8:30a.m.: Wait outside apartment for wife to leave, then go in to say hi to youngest daughter and get a few things. She asks if Daddy is going to a conference too. Breaks my heart.
1:40 p.m.: Starbucks on Wall Street. Make small talk with young girl in line. We exchange cards. I throw the card in my desk drawer. I will never call her.
5:30 p.m.: Meet friends for happy hour at local Wall Street watering hole called Ulysses, where many a siren comes to entice finance guys. I play wingman like I promised, but my heart is not in the game — WTF, do I really have to be honest about my situation with anyone I talk to tonight? Drink copious amounts of Scotch.
8 p.m.: Go on long run. Some of my best runs are after drinking.
11 p.m.: Back to friend’s apartment. Did not call home since I saw youngest this morning. Want Redtube fix, but not on my friend’s couch.
3 a.m.: That girl from Starbucks creeps into my dreams and I use the next waking hour making sweet love to her in a fantasy.
10 a.m.: Someone at work asks me why I don’t talk to my wife about my feelings.
11:45a.m.: Take her advice. Wife sends e-mail asking me why I am telling youngest daughter about our split. I call her, explain my feelings, and she tells me that I am crazy to suspect her of cheating, that it is the furthest thing from her mind, that she would not jeopardize our family. Sounds like things I would say if I were caught. She asks if I can babysit for her on Thursday night so she can go out with some friends. I want an evening with my daughter, so I agree.
1:30 p.m.: Receive e-mail response from Craigslist ad. She tells me in e-mail that she has had three affairs over last five years and has a great relationship with her husband that she does not want to change. Picture very tasteful, but I do not find her attractive. Claims she has athletic body and is a runner — I do not see evidence in the picture of these claims. I e-mail her back and say that I am looking for someone local. Not sure I could follow through no matter what she looked like.
10 p.m.: Very tired, I have not had a good night’s sleep in weeks. No time for self-love.
3 a.m.: Awake again with thoughts of Starbucks girl that soon turn to fantasy with wife. I love her and wish things were somehow different.
1 p.m.: E-mail from wife says to meet her at ballet class for youngest daughter to see her recital. Must bring pink flowers.
4:30 p.m.: Arrive at ballet class with flowers. Daughter smiles BIG when she sees me, makes it all worthwhile.
6 p.m.: Wife looks great (sexy) for her night out. I tell her so. She proceeds to tell me that for the last time, she is not having an affair and she wants us to work this out for youngest. I tell her that I would love to believe her and give her the benefit of the doubt, but only if she wants to work it out for us, not just for the girls. She agrees and lays a big kiss on me, and I think I am going to get lucky tonight for some great getting-back-together sex.
11 p.m.: Babysitting and very horny waiting at home for wife to come home. Thought she would be home by now if she cared.
11:45 p.m.: She walks in the door. Says dinner was over at 10:30, but stood on the corner talking to her friend for the last hour. I am hurt she did not want to hurry home. She climbs in bed next to me, we kiss and dry-hump for fifteen minutes, then she says even though she wants to, we can’t have sex until we talk. Does she have something important to confess?
Noon: Wife sends me e-mail telling me to bring my stuff home from my friend’s house. She wants me there for the weekend to be with the children.
5 p.m.: I walk in the door with my stuff. Hugs from youngest, then older daughter. Finally wife greets me in a very sexy low-cut top and tight jeans with a great kiss and hug. This could be my lucky day.
10 p.m.: Girls finally in bed. I grab a book to read in bed, wife climbs in next to me. She has already undressed. We start kissing, then she interrupts to talk. Really, she could say anything right now and I wouldn’t care. She says she understands why I am thinking too much and reading too much into her actions, but I have to trust her for us to work. We have some great sex for the next hour, watch the news, then we have a quickie. Grand.
TOTALS: Four acts of masturbation, two with Redtube inspiration; three nights spent on a friend’s couch; two acts of intercourse with wife; one ad posted on Craigslist.