So. Tinsley Mortimer is going to be on next season’s Gossip Girl, which they were filming on Long Island today. Judging by the outfit she is wearing in the above picture, we suspect the Tinz will be in the White Party scene that they were auditioning for last week, and knowing her limitations we can predict that she will probably have only one line. Although we do fervently hope that line is, “Serena, I haven’t seen you since our threesome with the Captain!” — we’re just … not that psyched about it. In fact, we’re kind of annoyed.
We sense this is the beginning of an uncomfortable-making trend. Like last season there was that Lydia Hearst cameo that may or may not develop into a full-on role. Now there’s Tinsley. Does this mean Arden Wohl and Olivia Palermo and Byrdie Bell and Lydia Fennett and Claire Bernard and Genevieve Jones are all signing their contracts right now? Is guest-starring on Gossip Girl the new handbag line, or at least the youthful version of Real Housewives? At one point, we probably would have been all for the appearance of real New Yorkers. In fact, we probably even agitated for it. But we’re going to go ahead and contradict ourselves, because now that it’s actually happening, we feel a little … pandered to. We get the sense that as New Yorkers, we’re supposed to find this charming or flattering — look, here’s a private joke for you! — but one of the things that makes Gossip Girl the best show ever is that it’s a fantasy. Packing it full of real-life socialites makes it feels a little bit too much like, well, real life. That very well could be the point — maybe this is a way of keeping up with Montags and the Conrads. But if Jenny goes to boarding school, Blair goes to Yale, and we’re left with Olivia Palermo texting back and forth with Nate, we’re not sure we can handle it.