Coverage of Barack Obama’s workout routine has shifted this week from creepy to hilarious, as the candidate was spotted on Wednesday hitting the gym three times in a single day. Far be it from us to diminish the man’s commendable devotion to his workout regimen, but we’re not alone in thinking something else besides leg thrusts — private conversations with veep contenders, perhaps? — was drawing the busy candidate’s attention from the campaign trail. ABC News reported that Obama’s “multiple visits raised a few eyebrows — with even a campaign aide cracking a smile as the third gym stop of the day was announced.”
The Obama campaign may think they’re being very clever, but isn’t this the worst cover-up story for secret meetings you could imagine? Not only is it completely implausible that Obama would work out three times in one day, but let’s say somehow we bought it: Is the campaign that desperate for the meathead vote?
It just might have been better to hold the secret rendezvous in, say, three different nursing homes, or three different children’s hospitals, but whatever. The best part is that upon exiting the gyms, Obama evinced a “distinct lack of visible sweat,” which is usually a dead giveaway your gym visit involved only the hoisting of lattes, with Evan Bayh for a spotter.
Yet! Some photographers claim that when they watched the candidate play basketball with the North Carolina Tar Heels earlier this year, they didn’t see Obama sweat. If there’s any part of this story that’s believable, it’s that Obama is so cool that producing sweat is simply unnecessary. —Dan Amira