Deciphering Princess Chunk’s Private Parts

Princess Chunk

Photo: Newscom

Everybody’s all excited about the Monster of Montauk, but we still can’t get over Princess Chunk, the 44-pound cat that was found wandering around New Jersey. The Post, which helped to make Princess Chunk famous, told us that it was going to be on Live With Regis and Kelly today, so we tuned in. And we weren’t disappointed. Turns out the feline’s name is actually Powder, and it’s ten years old. The woman who owned it couldn’t take care of it any more, so it’s still up for adoption (though there are over 800 volunteers, so don’t worry). The cat was a great television personality — it just stared at the audience in vague confusion, probably looking for food. It was like looking at an overstuffed bed pillow with a head.

Have you noticed that we were calling the cat “it,” instead of “he” or “she”? It’s weird, right? Well, it turns out that even though it was named Princess Chunk, nobody knew whether it was a boy or a girl. It’s hard to tell with cats, see. So Regis and Kelly had a veterinarian on to figure it out. In front of the live studio audience, they flipped the cat over (no easy feat) and everyone on stage peered down into its nether regions. Apparently on cats, the geography down there is important. Turns out Princess Chunk is a boy! Also, it turns out you can say things like “the anus is very close to the vagina” on national television. Who knew?


Deciphering Princess Chunk’s Private Parts