in other news

Drew Barrymore Apparently Not That Into Justin Long

I’m so happy my cheeks hurt,” Drew said in February.Photo: Getty Images

A mere six months after telling Vogue that his girlfriend, Drew Barrymore, is full of “beauty and light, and she shines it on everybody who comes into contact with her,” Justin Long (best known, poor sod, as “the Mac Guy”) has been relegated to the dustbin of Barrymore’s relationship history, where he is probably at this very moment weeping, whilst sharing a pint of Ben & Jerry’s alongside Barrymore exes Jamie Walters and Tom Green. He can’t say we didn’t warn him. Many men have fallen prey to Drew’s magical vagina, but their story always ends the same: She remains famous and fabulous; they disappear completely from the face of the earth.

But hark!

It seems that Barrymore has given Long a parting gift. Their movie, He’s Just Not That Into You, comes out in February. Will the film give Long the push he needs to get past being known as not just the Mac Guy, but the 101st Guy to Be Dumped by Drew Barrymore? Will he rise like a phoenix from the ashes? Or is he, like the others, doomed to a life of obscurity? Eh, we’re going with the latter.

Drew Barrymore and Justin Long Split [People]
Earlier: Drew Barrymore Discusses 100th Boyfriend With Vogue

Drew Barrymore Apparently Not That Into Justin Long