white men without money

Judge Orders Samuel Israel to Hand Over His Toys

Samuel Israel.Photo: AP

The fun is over for Samuel Israel, the hedge-fund manager who, after being given a twenty-year jail sentence for defrauding investors, tried to fake his own suicide back in June with a rather elaborate plan (he scrawled “Suicide is Painless,” the title of the theme from M*A*S*H, in dust on the hood of his car, left it on a bridge, then hopped on a scooter, drove it to a tricked-out RV, and hightailed it to western Massachusetts), only to get bored and turn himself in a few weeks later. Yesterday, in a Manhattan federal court, a no-nonsense judge, having sussed out that Israel’s overactive imagination might be a problem, demanded he turn over all personal amusements.

Manhattan Federal Judge Colleen McMahon signed a preliminary order yesterday demanding Israel forfeit the scooter and RV, as well as a Tiffany watch and $932 in cash that Israel was carrying when he was arrested on July 2 in Southwick, Mass.

Everything will be sold in order to pay back his investors, and it probably won’t stop there. We wonder what his M*A*S*H boxed set will fetch on eBay.

Wall street Swindler Loses Scooter [NYDN]

Judge Orders Samuel Israel to Hand Over His Toys