neighborhood watch

Is Victory Ford Coming Out With A Beer-Wench Line?

Photo: Getty Images

Cobble Hill: “Last night, I was walking on Court Street near Union…and there were two ladies walking in front of us wearing long, flowing, huge robes with hoods….They were carrying flashlights, and had an air of authority about them.” If you haven’t met the truffle-hunting she-monks yet, you mustn’t have lived here very long. [Curbed]

Chelsea: The Allerton Hotel, the former SRO–cum–crack house on Eighth Avenue and 22nd Street, will become a Gem boutique hotel, not a condo. We used to live across the street and had to step over Allerton residents on our stoop who wouldn’t move while they ate bodega chicken, and now we hear the Gem will hire good-looking, multiethnic actors to re-create that vignette. No, we’re just kidding. [Curbed]

Flatiron: Lipstick Jungle is filming right across the street from the Observer office, where staffers report Lindsay Price is frolicking in a costume that makes her look like a “medieval beer wench.” Guess Victory Ford does get her design groove back! [NYO]

Coney Island: Did you hear that two Russian-émigré ex-Marines who did time in Iraq got the shit kicked out of them by a (nonwhite, we infer) mob when they tried to rescue a girl who was being attacked? Maybe God thinks you need news like this to offset the euphoria of headlines like the 88th birthday of the Wonder Wheel. [NYP via Queens Crap]
Inwood: Maybe you can get whole-wheat pizza up here, but good luck finding a bike rack. Ah, that awkward semi-gentrified stage…every hood goes through it. [Streetsblog]
Forest Hills: If you’re “American like me” in this diverse neighborhood, here’s a primer of what’s going on in China, Russia, and Central America to make conversations with people from those countries, “when your kids play with their kids on the slide.” It’s easy! “Just set them up and let them speak.” [Forest Hills 72]
North Bronx: If the city blasts into Jerome Park Reservoir as planned, gazillions of rats will be unleashed into the area, says an enviro honcho. But Bloomberg says no worries: He’ll dress up as the Pied Piper and lead them to Yonkers. Okay, we’re kidding again. Damn it. We love that image so much. [NYDN]

Is Victory Ford Coming Out With A Beer-Wench Line?