Earlier this week a couple of female Hofstra University students decided, upon moving into their new Franklin Square apartment, that they would get their smoke detectors checked out. You know, to make sure they worked. That they were mature and responsible enough to do this is something we find, frankly, staggering, as we’re personally in the habit of totally ignoring the smoke detector until it goes off, usually when we’re microwaving something we shouldn’t, thereby forcing us to smack it off the wall with a broom, making a mockery of everything taught to us by Smokey the Bear. But what these students found was even more surprising: a couple of teeny-tiny spy cameras that, they later found, transmitted a live feed of images from their bedrooms directly to their creepy landlord’s computer. The landlord, 44-year-old financial adviser Michael Muratore, was promptly arrested for illegal surveillance, whereupon he tried to convince the police that he hadn’t installed said cameras because he was a total perv but “to make sure there was no damage being done to the apartments.” Well of course. Sure. We can see his point; checking for damages is something you would totally need live feeds for. From the bedroom, which is where all damage happens. Because you’d want to be able to watch the destruction in real time and know who did it. Because you’d want to be able to properly punish them. Because they’re a bad, bad, girl. No. What? Anyway, that is really gross, and you know what? We think we’ll pay a little closer attention to our smoke detectors from now on.