Cindy Adams Hearts Zac Efron, Whom She’s Never Met

Hot damn.

A-Rod’s furniture looks “surprisingly midrange” in the $14 million Park Avenue condo he and estranged wife Cynthia are trying to sell. John Simon, the meanest theater critic of all time, will teach poetry at Marymount Writing Center. Pity the bad poets in that class! Broadway hunk Cheyenne Jackson was hit on by a bunch of rich ladies in Rome who didn’t know he was gay. Jada Pinkett Smith left Equus after the first act and went around the block to catch the second act of All My Sons. Cindy Adams zigzags wildly this morning from Paterson-O’Byrne gossip to something about how killing moose is bad for your health to an homage to Zac Efron, whom she’s never met. You’re all over the place today, Cindy!

Cindy goes on to talk about wearing a Halloween fright wig and orange pantsuit out the door and to your Sunday-morning TV show and nobody looking twice? Curiouser and curiouser. Meanwhile, reports a more cogent Liz Smith, Meryl Streep’s movie, in which she plays Julia Child, will be held back so it won’t have to compete for Best Actress Oscar with Meryl’s fiery nun portrayal in the movie version of Doubt.

Akon doesn’t want the job of setting Wall Street aright. Anne Slowey, Elle editor, supposedly told guests like Eve to take anything they wanted from the shelves at a party at Kiehl’s for the show Stylista, which Slowey hosts. Model Carol Alt is in court with her ex, former New York Ranger Ron Greschner, over $1 million she says he owes her. Lou Dobbs’s daughter, Hillary, seemed very affectionate at a horse show with fellow rider Angel Karolyi, a hot Venezuelan. Let’s hope he’s not an illegal immigrant or Dad’ll get him deported!

Chris Paciello, former Miami nightclub mogul and mob thug turned mob rat, is very sorry for all the bad things he did in life. Kate Hudson’s Halloween party in L.A., where Cindy Crawford went as Amy Winehouse, was visited by police who said to keep the noise down. Tyler Perry supposedly makes everyone call him “Mr. Perry” on the set of his TV show. Michael Phelps supposedly made $100,000 going to a fancy L.A. party and swimming some laps. And finally, in a poignantly reflective moment, Kim Kardashian notes that her butt is indeed big, but perhaps not as big as it looms in the popular imagination.

Cindy Adams Hearts Zac Efron, Whom She’s Never Met