Most of Today’s Gossip Items Involve Sarah Palin

Clint Eastwood, talking with Lillian Ross at one of those New Yorker things where you actually have to pay to hear people talk, kind of suggested he thought Palin did better than Biden in the debate. Candace Bushnell sold out her new book at a launch in Dallas, maybe because reading her makes the Dallas ladies feel all New York–y inside. Madonna mocked Palin during her show at the Meadowlands, and also mocked the sound of Palin’s husband’s snowmobile. True-life American Gangster Frank Lucas is touring the country with his son to preach “grades, not guns.” Joe DiMaggio supposedly declined to have the Major Deegan Expressway renamed after him.

Christopher Buckley says he had no idea who Palin was back when he was writing his new novel with a character who’s a lot like Palin. Michael Den Dekker, a former sanitation worker from Queens who now plays a lawyer in Spike Lee’s new movie, is also running for a Queens Assembly seat. Willem Dafoe is supposedly having a hard time selling his $850,000 upstate house because it’s clad in neoprene, which they make wet suits out of. Beth Ostrosky was at the gym the morning after her wedding when she really should have been curled up in bed with Howard Stern in a blissful postnuptial, post-coital haze. Bloomberg, who wants to be a three-term mayor, will attend the opening of the play LaGuardia, about the last three-term mayor before Koch.

Cindy Adams seems fascinated by a random guy in Sutton Place who smokes a cigar and reads the papers in a folding chair at night in front of a co-op because he doesn’t want his apartment to smell like smoke. She also thinks Biden said “Gwen” too many times during the debate. And she reports that Kelly Clarkson is lactose-intolerant. Liz Smith seems kind of besotted with Palin and says she’s kind of like the new Ann Richards. And then Liz goes on to analyze how Palin’s fashion choices “accentuate her slim waist and hips.” All right, Liz, that’s more than enough.

Andrew Lloyd Webber will pass his $1.3 billion fortune not to his five kids but to a fund for cheesy — oh, sorry — young composers. Sonia Rykiel had her fashion show’s after-party 30 minutes outside of Paris, and angry guests got stuck with taxi bills over 75 euros because the taxis started running their meters during the party. David and Victoria Beckham’s 9-year-old son loves the Beatles during ceramics class, and is also named Brooklyn, just like Jonathan Demme’s son. Why won’t someone name their son Staten Island?

Minnie Driver didn’t sell pics of her new baby and instead just put one up for free on MySpace, which is absolutely heroic and worthy perhaps of a humanitarian prize. Golshifteh Farahani, the totally gorgeous Iranian woman who’s in a new movie with Leo DiCaprio, may be banished from her country for making a decadent Western-values-type movie. Pamela Anderson presented Hugh Hefner with an 82nd-birthday cake while naked for Hef’s reality-TV show about having three girlfriends or whatever that show is about. The script for Larry Flynt’s upcoming porn satire of Palin actually sounds moronically hilarious, with a flashback between Palin and her creationist college professor (“Big Bang” theory, get it?), Palin “nailin’” some Russians, and a Palin-Condi-Hillary-look-alike three-way. Perhaps thanks partly to Palin, Tina Fey just got a $6 million memoir contract without doing up a proposal or even meeting with editors.

Most of Today’s Gossip Items Involve Sarah Palin