ink-stained wretches

The Hunting of Levi Johnston

Like a moose in the headlights.

Who would have thought that the lone hunter who was able to track down and capture that elusive and graceful creature of the Alaska wilderness, the vehicle of the sperm that enlivened Bristol Palin’s youthful womb, Levi “Sex on Skates” Johnston, would have been a New York city-slicker? We imagined the intrepid AP reporter who trekked across the snowy plains of Alaska and then cornered his prey, extracting, at last, the magical quote that will maybe someday become a part of our the historical record — “At first, I was nervous, then I was like, ‘Whatever.’” — would have been an Alaskan, a journeyman whose snowshoes had trod that route before. But no! It was a reporter called Adam Goldman, from the New York City bureau. His editor, Mike Silverman, laid bare the details of Adam’s arduous hunt in a memo on Romenesko today.

Goldman repeatedly went to Johnston’s home in Wasilla. No luck.

He identified the homes of Johnston’s buddies and went there. No luck.

He pulled speeding and hunting tickets, learned the make and model of Johnston’s truck and went back to the house in Wasilla. Still not there.

Then, as Goldman left the neighborhood, he spotted the truck, quickly went back to the house and found Johnston in his driveway.

And that’s how your moose-y sausage gets made. The AP gave Goldman a $500 prize for his efforts, because apparently that’s what they do instead of just paying people a decent base salary, but personally, we think that being in such close proximity to Sex on Skates ought to have been reward enough.

Tracking Down Levi Johnston [Romenesko]

Johnston speaks about Bristol Palin, Obama, baby [AP]

The Hunting of Levi Johnston