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‘Gossip Girl’ Introduces Two New Characters

The leading ladies.

The subject of Blake Lively’s breasts set the comments section of this week’s Gossip Girl reality index aflame. Lots of you think they are fake, but we’re not convinced — having had the opportunity to ogle them repeatedly this season, we’ve noticed that they are, in fact, actually a very natural shape. However, they have been bizarrely prominent over the past few episodes, which makes us wonder if they’ve got a new wardrobe assistant or they are being introduced as a new main character. (Characters?) Everyone also had a problem with the “mailing of letters scene” at the end — and with that we agree. What was that? Product placement for the U.S. Postal Service?

Wait, was it? If so, that is genius. Anyway, after the jump, our favorite comments, followed by the final reality tally.

Truer Than Scott Sartiano Macking on a Teenager

• How could the genius title of the episode (“There Might Be Blood”) be referring to anything besides the business of Emma getting her cherry popped? Plus 5, at the very least. —blech, and many others.

• Does anyone one else notice that Aaron is Justin Bobby (from The Hills)? A “friend” named Audra? A motorcycle? Random girls answering his phone? His non explainatiion sounds exactaly like something he would say. Plus 2. Even though Justin Bobby is an idiot at least he’s hot. Aaron is not. —dagnyann The original comment had this as a minus, but we kind of think this should be a plus, since Justin Bobby is (at least a partially) a real human being.

Plus 2 for Jenny using Polaroids as her business cards. Of course a 15-year-old would think film that’s being taken off the market would be faux-edgy enough to compliment her faux-edgy line. —brackishthenine

Plus 3 for “I have a fake ID and a credit card, I want Bacardi and a boy” b/c I remember when I thought drinking Bacardi sounded like a good idea too. —susyp

Plus 5 for Vanessa still being hung up on Nate even though they actually only hooked up once or twice. Very high school … and college … —MrsChuckBass. And life, actually.

Plus 40 for Blair’s “This is a sign from God! God wants me to do this!” Because this really is how Blair thinks. Her steadfast faith in doing the Lord’s work is probably what makes her so dangerous. —BlairBass1

Faker Than “I Have 32 Missed Calls on My Phone”

• Also, I think another Minus 1 for the red lipstick not on Nate, because you know Lil J is wearing Wet and Wild. —martell

Minus 5 for Serena still not understanding that mass cleavage is not appropriate when meeting with important people regarding Yale. The skimpy dress she wore on this show to meet with Mrs. Boardman, and then that cleavage shirt she wore when meeting with the dean at Yale. Regardless of her skank tendencies, she would know better, or at least Blair would say something to her. ALB6371, echoed across the board.

Minus 2 for Dan mailing his story to Noah Shapiro. It’s called email or personally delivering it. —jourgy

Minus 1 the address on Nate’s card reads “55 Water Street,” which is in Dumbo, but the zip is 11211, which is in Williamsburg. —loreal, echoed all around.

Minus 3 for the right choices talk between Dan and Rufus at breakfast. In the real world, Dan would have said, “Jesus Dad, whatever!” to everything Rufus had to say. —zroddy Yes!

¬• Minus 2 for no sight of Eleanor Waldorf’s rage and surprise at Jenny unleashing her own fashion line mere days after quitting. —XoXo Ruby. Good point! Aren’t Serena’s mom and Blair’s mom BFFs just like their daughters? Eleanor would have been at that charity benefit, and she would not have allowed that!

And now, our points from the original recap:
Real: 59
Fake: 33

When combined with your tally:
Real: 116
Fake: 47

Even without the 40 extra points for Blair’s line about God (People, contain yourselves) and without any acknowledgment of real-world events, this episode still came out on the realistic side, which means — well, let’s face it, doesn’t really mean anything.

‘Gossip Girl’ Introduces Two New Characters